


Ask Me To Stay

by thewherethefislouisface (theycallmelolo)



Series: Ask me To Stay [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, America AU, Best Friends, Boys In Love, Drunk Sex, M/M, Moving, Multi, Starting Over, Unrequited Love, coming home
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-14
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-24 16:53:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1612400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theycallmelolo/pseuds/thewherethefislouisface
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“To burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves.” ― Federico García Lorca</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. PREFACE

**Author's Note:**

> love is a journey not a destination

“ _Because, if you could love someone, and keep loving them, without being loved back . . . then that love had to be real. It hurt too much to be anything else.” Sarah Cross_

****

**_PREFACE_ **

 

_Buzz-Buzz-Buzz_

_Harry hears his phone vibrating on the night stand next to his head. He really does not want to open his eyes. It’s too early for a Saturday, he’s guessing it’s something to eight. It’s Ryan’s weekend shift at the hospital, last one before their wedding in exactly two weeks. He knows that if it was a true emergency Ryan would call rather than send him a text._

_Shit. Harry reaches for his phone anyway and sees Louis’s name flash across his screen. He punches in his code to get to his home screen._

**_You up? I’m coming over. Be there in five minutes_ ** _._

_Harry feels a smile form on his face._

**_Am now. You better bring me my favorite treat for getting out of bed this early on a Saturday._ **

_The text bubble pops up right away on Harry’s phone._

**_Already done. Who loves me?_ **

****

_Harry stretches his long limbs before rolling out of bed. He slips on some basketball shorts and a t-shirt from the pile of clothes on the floor. He ruffles his hair hoping to get rid of the bed head he is rocking. His curls are always the hardest to tame in the morning. He stumbles down the steps just in time to hear the doorbell chime. Harry opens the door to find a smiling Louis standing in the threshold bakery bag in hand._

_“Morning Louis.” Harry flashes a dimply smile._

_“Peace offering” Louis holds the bag of pastries out. Harry grabs it from his hand before he opens the bag, eyeing up the treats inside._

_They walk to the kitchen where Harry grabs two glasses from the cabinet before he pulls out milk and juice from the fridge. Harry pours himself a glass of milk before he turns to Louis’s asking, “Milk or juice?”_

_“Milks fine.” Louis quickly answers._

_Harry grabs his glass and heads to the French doors that are off the kitchen. Louis grabs his glass and quickly follows. Harry opens the doors and leads them out in the garden to the patio table where Harry drops the bag of goodies. Louis sits down across from Harry watching him as he looks through the bag deciding which pastry he’s going to eat. Harry picks the cherry cheese danish before passing the bag off to Louis who picks the blueberry muffin._

_“So what brings you by this early in the morning?” Harry ask after taking a bite of his cherry danish. Licking some cherry off his pointer finger._

_“What? I need a reason to come by and see my best friend?” Louis counters._

_“Of course not. It’s just that if it’s early for me than I know its way early for you.” Harry smiles._

_Louis takes a big gulp of his milk before licking his lips. He pauses while he looks around the garden before turning his attention back on Harry._

_“So two weeks away huh? You got lots left to do?”_

_“Just little stuff now. The wedding planner has been a big help with all the big things. I’ve been trying to make it as easy as possible with Ryan’s hospital schedule. I didn’t want to get burned out. You know?”_

_They sit in silence for a few more minutes finishing the last of their breakfast. Harry notices that Louis has been bouncing his leg up and down for the past two minutes and biting on his thumb nail. Harry’s about to ask what’s up but before he can Louis breaks the silence first._

_“I kind of got some news to share with you.” Louis breathes in deep before continuing. “Do you remember Aiden?” Harry nods. “Okay well his uncle came to me with this really great job opportunity a few months ago so I decided to go for it. I found out a few days ago that I actually got the job.”_

_“I thought you liked your job? So like are you going to be teaching at a new school?” Harry asks._

_“No I mean Williams is a great school. I’ve loved my time there over the last few years. Yeah so it’s a new school.” Louis is hesitating. “One that’s on a military base in Japan.”_

_“What?” Harry chokes._

_“Yeah I’m going to be teaching English to a bunch of army brats” Louis lets out a forced chuckle. “It’s a two year contract. Comes with furnished housing and meal plan as well. The pays better than what I’m making now. Plus it’s Japan. I mean it was a no brainer, really.”_

_“So you’re moving to Japan for two years?” Harry ask like he did not hear right the first time. Harry does not wait for Louis to answer before he continues. “So when do you leave?”_

_Louis’s winces before he answers. “I fly out when you’re on your honeymoon.”_

_“What?” Harry shakes his head before running his hands through his curls. “How long have you known about this Louis?”_

_“A few weeks. I didn’t know the right time to tell you. With the wedding I didn’t want to add stress. I would have told you about it but I figured it was such a long shot since I have no military experience or anything. I really never thought I would get the job. Honestly.”_

_“I won’t even get to say bye to you. This is just real shit timing, Lou.” Harry's tone is harsh and accusatory._

_Tears are forming in Harry’s eyes and Louis swallows hard before standing up and turning his back to Harry. Louis has never been able to stand seeing Harry cry. Louis runs his hands through his hair before turning to face Harry’s tear stained face._

_“That’s just it, right?” The words escape Louis’s mouth before he can stop them. “We’ve never been able to get the timing right. It’s been over ten years and it’s always the circumstances surrounding us that fucks it all up. But fuck Harry this time you’re getting married. Married. I mean this isn’t just some guy that I’m waiting to leave so I can fill in until the next guy comes along.”_

_Harry wipes his eyes before making eye contact with Louis._

_“What do you mean, Lou?”_

_“Fuck H. Come on. You know what I mean.” Louis shakes his head at Harry. “I’ve been in love with you for the past ten years. Everyone knows that. Fuck Ryan knows it. Don’t act like you didn’t have any idea.”_

_tears are dripping down Harry’s face, one tear bounces off his nose before landing on his lap._

_“I can’t stand up there in two weeks without you hearing the words from my mouth.” Louis is now standing in front of Harry. “I love you Harry.”_

_“Louis.”_

_“It’s okay. I’m not asking you to break it off with Ryan or begging you to leave him. I just-just needed to say it out loud to you. It isn’t right for me to stand next to you in a church without you knowing the real truth.”_

_“So what you’re running away to Japan because I won’t leave Ryan for you?” Harry’s eyes narrow at Louis and his jaw is clenched._

_“No.” Louis whispers softly. “Four times Harry. We’ve had sex four times over the past ten years. Maybe the excuse was we were drunk or whatever. But I haven’t been able to just let it go like you have.”_

_“You know that’s not fair Louis. I mean why you didn’t tell me like three years ago. Fuck Louis. You really think you’re not important to me. Like those times didn’t mean something special to me too?”_

_“I fucking crave you Harry.” Louis knows he is over stepping now, but he just can’t stop himself. “All of you. I’ve spent years trying and nothing compares for me. I’m so sorry Harry that I’m doing this now. I’ve always been shit at all of this. Fuck.”_

_Harry sits speechless looking out over the garden. Louis thinks he should probably leave before he does any more harm._

_“I’m not running. I just need to get over you and I won’t be able to do that here.” Louis sounds broken. “Hopefully after two years I can come back here and be the friend that you deserve.”_

_Louis picks up his glass from the patio table before turning towards the French doors. He drops the glass in the sink and makes his way to the front door. Louis was not sure how he thought this conversation was going to go this morning. It’s not like he thought it would end with Harry leaping into his arms and begging him to stay. He turns the handle of the front door when he hears a breathless “wait” behind him._

_Louis stops and turns to find Harry standing in front of him. Before Louis can react Harry is embracing him into a tight hug. Louis cannot help but breath in all of Harry’s warmth. He smells like the perfect mix of sleep, old cologne, and shampoo. He smells like home._

_Louis pulls away first afraid that if he does not now he may never. Harry’s eyes are swollen and puffy but he’s no longer crying._

_“Friends right?” Louis ask because for the first time he really does not know where Harry’s head is at._

_“Always.” Harry forces a smile._

_“Okay. Two weeks I’m going to stand up there with the biggest smile on my face because I know that you’re going to be so happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted H was for you to be happy. You just-just have to believe that. Okay.”_

_Louis turns to leave closing the door softly behind him. Gets in his car before he bawls his eyes out, unable to hold back years of hidden emotions. It’s done now. Harry knows the truth and for the first time in years it feels like Louis can finally breathe._

 


	2. Japan: First Year

**_JAPAN—FIRST YEAR_ **

**_TEXT MESSAGES_ **

**_JUNE_ **

_Harold! I just wanted to let you know that I arrived in Japan after what felt like years on an airplane. I’m about thirteen hours ahead of you for future reference!! Hope your honeymoon was ace! Miss you_

 

_LOUIS! So glad to hear from you and glad got there safely! How is it? Make any new friends?_

 

_My place is small but clean. Everyone I met so far has been nice and welcoming. I have a few other teachers on my floor. A couple with families and couple single pringles. I’m just excited to explore and learn new things. I’m working one of the summer camps that start soon. I’m going to be doing their football program. How are you and Ryan?_

 

_The honeymoon was amazing. The beach was beautiful and so was the resort. I came back nice and tan. Did lots of drinking and eating!!! Gained like ten pounds._

 

_Sounds pretty much perfect! I know it’s late there so I’ll let you go. Talk soon?_

 

_Yes talk soon!!! Bye Louis_

 

_Bye Harry!_

_**©**   **©**    **©**_ **©**

_How’s camp going?_

 

_It’s going really well! I teach football to kids ages 6 thru 18 during the day. I mean can’t beat spending a summer playing my favorite sport!_

 

_Sounds pretty much perfect for you Lou!_

 

_How’s work?_

 

_I’ve been so busy…lots of bookings and jobs lined up for the rest of summer! The studio is really making a name for itself! I’m thrilled!_

 

_I’m so happy for you H. I knew that it would be brilliant._

**© **©**   **©**    **©**  **  

_Hi love!_

 

_Hi Louis! You alright?_

 

_Yup. You?_

 

_Good. Busy week but good!_

**_JULY_ **

_You think I can learn Japanese from listening to Japanese rap albums?_

 

_Um I guess. You do have two years to learn._

 

_I think I’m going to try._

 

_Why not buy like Rosetta Stone or something. Learn the proper way._

 

_That shit cost like $100 and the rap album was $7.99 sooo I like my idea way better!_

**©**   **©**    **©**   **©**     

_Miss you at Zayn’s annual 4 th of July cook-out!_

 

_Miss you too! Tell the boys I said hello, yeah?_

 

_Of course! They all say hi!!!!!_

 

_Did you have a cook-out on base?_

 

_Yes! Hot dogs and all. Plus even a band! It’s no Zayn’s but it’s fun!_

 

_Whiffle ball is starting soon. Got to go kick some ass!! You know how fun it is to see Niall pout when he loses!!_

**©**     **©**   **©**    **©**

_Baka ka!_

 

_You’re learning Japanese I see!_

 

_Yeah it means stupid asshole_

 

_Wow…you learn that from your rap album?_

 

_No…one of my camp kids!_

**©**   **©**   **©**    **©**

_I miss you!_

 

_Miss you more love!_

_**©**   **©**   **©**    **©**_

  _Hey love! I wanted to let you know I signed up for a trip through the base to the Tokyo Imperial Palace. I’ll be gone for most of the week, not sure about cell service and all._

 

_WOW! I’m so jealous! Have fun!! Send me a photo or two. Safe travels xoxo_

**©**    **©**   **©**    **©**   

_Hey stranger!_

 

_Ahh Louis! How was it?? Was it as beautiful as the pictures?_

 

_It was so amazing H. We even got to see some of the temples. You would love it. Please come visit me so I can take you there. The photos you could take. It’s amazing._

 

_Miss you Lou!_

 

_Miss you to H!_

**_AUGUST_ **

_I just tried miso soup for the first time!_

 

_That’s good shit! Had it once at Japanese Steak House_

 

_It was delicious! May be my new favorite thing!_

**©**    **©**   **©**    **©**   

_Louis! Fuck sorry I’m not even sure what time it is there if its 9am here…shit I’ll get this right sometime soon._

 

_Hi Harry. It’s a little after 10pm. What’s up!_

 

_Okay so their I am in line at Starbucks and you will never ever believe who was standing in front of me!   ????_

 

_Should I start guessing…?_

 

_Fuck off! That girl Adrianne or something from Niall’s party._

 

_Ugh. Andrea. Shit I think that was the last girl I slept with…shit that was years ago._

 

_I almost had to leave. I couldn’t stop snickering. All I could think about was you coming out of the bedroom, you were so wasted, and asking me if you just slept with a girl or boy._

 

_I’m a fucking asshole…_

**© **©**   **©**    **©****    

_Good luck on your first day of school, Mr. Tomlinson!_

 

_God that sounds kind of hot, Harry!_

 

_Shut up!_

**© **©**   **©**    **©****    

_First day go good?_

 

_Yeah. My students aren’t as big of assholes as I imagined them to be_

 

_That’s the spirit Lou!!_

**_SEPTEMBER_ **

_LOUIS TEXT ME AS SOON AS YOU GET THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

 

_I’m okay!! I guess you saw we had an earthquake yesterday? I promise I’m fine. It was late and I didn’t want to wake you up._

 

_I’ve never been happier to hear from you. Shit. Don’t ever worry about waking me up Lou. So you’re okay?_

 

_Yup. The base it all good. Just a couple things falling off shelves but other than the heart attack I almost suffered I’m still in one piece._

 

_I can’t imagine. That must have been scary. I’m just glad you’re good. I gotta head into the studio soon. Take care. Text me sometime later this week? Sweet dreams Louis_

 

_Yup. I’ll text you in a few days. You have a good day at work!! Bye H_

**©**    **©**   **©**    **©**   

_A tragedy has occurred?_

 

_What’s up Lou?_

 

_So I was cleaning up the living room when I noticed Wonton was missing. So I moved my bookcase—and there he laid in a million pieces. Tears are falling. I had that Panda for years and I’m in Japan for what like three months and he loses his life in an earthquake…_

 

_Awww…yes how could I forget Wonton! That god awful ceramic panda you insisted on buying at the National Zoo._

 

_Don’t speak ill of the dead, Harold!! Plus we all had so much fun on that trip to DC. Every time I looked at it I was reminded of how lost we got driving around and how freaked Liam was because we ended up in some scary neighborhood where he swore we were going to get robbed and killed. We just kept egging him on and freaking him out more and more!_

 

_That was a good boy’s trip! That just means we have to do it again!_

 

_I’m going to go work through the emotions of grief…beginning with eating a whole carton of ice cream._

 

_You’re so dramatic Louis!_

**© **©**   **©**    **©****    

_So last night I’m on Facebook and I came across a group called Hot English Teacher Mr. Tomlinson. What the fuck??_

 

_Wait what?_

 

_There is a closed group on Facebook titled Hot English Teacher Mr. Tomlinson with a picture of my face as the icon. One of my students must have taken a picture of me while I was teaching._

 

_Wait. Were you searching for yourself on Facebook?_

 

_Fuck off! No. Okay maybe_

 

_You think they would let me join? I got lots of juicy stories I could share about Hot Mr. Tomlinson. Shit I got some pictures on my computer that could make those kids blush!_

**© **© ©  ©****    

_Ganbarimasu_

 

_I kind of like this idea Lou. I could just learn a new language by you texting me random words here and there for the next two years._

 

_It means overcoming hardships_

 

_I like it! _Ganbarimasu__

**_OCTOBER_ **

_Hi love!_

 

_Hi Louis!_

 

_You alright?_

 

_Busy with work but good. School good?_

 

_Yes. We have fall break in a few weeks. Niall’s coming to visit!_

 

_It’s all he’s been talking about! He is so amped to see you and Japan!_

 

_Talk soon?_

 

_Always! Miss you Lou!_

**©**   **© © ©**

_I just tripped walking up stairs in front of one of my clients!_

 

_a graceful giraffe you are not!!_

 

_My stupid feet and long legs_

**© **© © ©**   **  

_Nialler made it safely!_

 

_You two enjoy your week together!_

 

_Ganbarimasu_

**©**    **© © ©**   

_Harrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyy_

 

_Oh first night with Niall…you’re already wasted_

 

_Soooo wasted…………………hi_

 

_Hi again :p_

 

_Miss your face_

 

_Same!_

**© **© © ©**  **   

_Who said it was a good idea to have Niall visit?_

 

_You’re old balls now…can’t hack it anymore?_

 

_We’ve gone out every night…my liver may never recover_

 

_Just glad you two are having fun!_

**© **© © ©**   **

_I’ve been so busy with grading essays…sorry_

 

_Nope  been busy too! You good?_

 

_I’m great! You?_

 

_Same old shit here!_

**©**   **© © ©**    

_Had a Halloween party at school today. All I ate was cupcakes! Ugh I’m having a sugar crash…._

 

_Just eat another one!_

 

_No… the thought alone makes me want to throw up. Plus Halloweens really not fun when you’re a grownup…and when it’s a school night too._

 

_Yeah I’m going to be sitting on porch giving out candy. I’m officially an adult...giving out candy on the porch. Fuck my life right now!_

 

_God the old Harry and Louis would be so disappointed that our Halloween didn’t end in drunken debauchery._

**_NOVEMBER_ **

_I may have to quit my job and move home_

 

_What did you do this time Lou?_

 

_Heeeyyy. There is no Cap’n Crunch in this country or on this base. All I want is a bowl of Cap’n Crunch…why? Why? Why?_

 

_That is the worse cereal ever Lou. It rips the roof of your mouth to shreds_

 

_Small price to pay Harry for the deliciousness!_

 

_Can’t you put in request at the commissary?_

 

_Right I’m a lowly English teacher not like a Captain…hahaha get it?_

 

_If you were wondering I just rolled my eyes…_

 

_Ganbarimasu_

**© **© © ©****     

_Me drunk._

 

_Hi Lou! I’m at work. Rather be drunk if I’m honest! You go out?_

 

_Yes. It was fucking insane this place. I drunk lots of greene and blu drinks. Girls dressed like in Harajuku style. Japan is so odddddd…_

 

_I’m impressed you spelled that while drunk! You are a good English teacher huh?!_

 

_I danced with lots of pretty boys too._

 

_I bet they love your little twink ass there!! Miss you Lou!_

 

_Night lovey_

**©**   **© © ©**

_Just imagine you’re having the shitest day ever…woke up late, forgot your lunch on the counter, your students still don’t know the difference between using their and there or your and you’re…_

 

_Okay I’m following…_

 

_You walk to your apartment door and find a big box addressed to you from your best friend in the world. You rip open the box and what do you find??? FOUR MOUTHERFUCKING BOXES of CAP’N CRUNCH!!_

 

_How many bowls did you already have?_

 

_THREE!!_

 

_How’s your mouth feeling?_

 

_AMAZING! Thank you so much Harry!!_

 

_You’re welcome. Glad I made your day a little better!_

 

_Yes! And now I have dinner for like the next two weeks!_

 

_Please tell me you’re eating more than cereal for dinner?_

 

_It’s my go to meal…_

 

_Don’t you think you should learn to cook for yourself?_

 

_No, my plan is find a hot guy to do it for me!! Just to be honest that used to be you but then you had go and get married leaving me to starve!_

 

_You’re helpless_

**©**   **© © ©**   

_Ganbarimasu_

 

_Fuck off!_

**© **© © ©****     

_Do they have turkey in Japan?_

 

_Yes…_

 

_Just checkin’ making sure you turkey day isn’t turkeyless_

**_DECEMEBER_ **

_What did one snowman say to another snowman?_

 

_Why am I afraid to ask…I don’t know, what?_

 

_Do you smell carrots!!!!!!_

 

_Nooooo Harold!_

 

_Shut up! That’s a good one!_

**©**   **© © ©**   

_It’s snowing! Sorry I got excited for a second!_

 

_Go out and make snow angels_

**© **© © ©****   

_Christmas break bitches! No students for like two weeks! Fuck yes!_

 

_Sometimes I’m so jealous of your ass!_

**©**   **© © ©**

_Happy Happy Happy Birthday to youuuuu!!!! I can’t believe this is the first year I haven’t seen you on your birthday. Please tell me I was your first text??_

 

_Hi…shit right on the dot! You’re the first_

 

_Yes!! Enjoy your day Louis!! I hope all those new friends are treating you extra special today!_

**©**   **© © ©**   

_Harry!! Thank you so much for my birthday and Christmas gifts!_

 

_Yay you got it?? I was worried it wouldn’t get to you in time!_

 

_Thank you. You’re the best best best! I already placed Wonton the 2 nd on the bookshelf! And I may have already eaten a few bowls of Cap’n Crunch as well. _

**©**   **© © ©**   

_A Tokyo shirt! Really! Thank you! I love it Lou!_ _Actually Japanese candy is quite interesting as well!_

 

_I wasn’t sure about the shirt but then I was like who wouldn’t want a Tokyo shirt!_

 

_It’s perfect!_

**©**    **© © ©**   

_Merry Christmas Harry!!!!_

 

_Happy Christmas Louis!!_

 

_What are you and Ryan doing on your first married Christmas?_

 

_Hah…he is working and I’m at my mums. You know the many joys of being married to a doctor. Tell me you have plans?_

 

_Yes, got invited to a family gathering at one my co-workers! It’s kind of nice because so many of us are away from our families so we kind of all get together to make up for it!_

 

_Good! The thought of you alone made me really sad. Enjoy your day Louis!_

 

_You too love! Talk soon okay!_

**© **© © ©**  **

_I think Gemma spiked the eggnog...hahah I can't feel my toes!_

 

_yuck...that shits so gross!_

 

_that photo someone tagged you in on Facebook...fuck you look hot today Louis!_

 

_yup I'm going to guess it was spiked!_

 

 **© © © ©**

_Tell me you at least got to watch A Christmas Story today?_

 

_YES OF COURSE! Someone had it on DVD!_

****

**_JANUARY_ **

_Happy New Year LOUIS! I know it’s not the new year here yet but I wanted to tell you anyway!_

 

_Harry…hi! Japan is crazy on new year’s! Had myself a nice little kiss from some guy in the club._

 

_Nice!_

**©**   **© © ©**   

_Happy New Year Harry! I’m still hung over!_

**©**   **© © ©**   

_I kind of have a date tonight?_

 

_What do you mean kind of?_

 

_I met this guy, Greg, a few days ago and he asked me out for dinner._

 

_Where did you meet?_

 

_The market!_

 

_Does he live in Japan?_

 

_Business man from the states but works in Tokyo, he commutes between LA and Tokyo week’s at a time._

 

_Have fun! Let me know how it goes!_

**©**    **© © ©**   

_Do you know how dysfunctional our relationships sounds out loud when you try to explain it to someone?_

 

_I’m very aware of how dysfunctional we are!_

 

_Yes, I tried to explain to Greg the dynamics of our friendship…we’ve been best friends since junior year of high school, we’ve fucked a handful of times but don’t worry ‘because now you’re married. Not to mention the insane amount of sexual tension that’s between us nonstop!!_

 

_Did you also mention that part were we have no filter and say whatever we want to each other without a care in the world? And that you will totally tell me how big his penis is because that’s what we do!_

 

_In not so many words but yes! The funniest part was his biggest question was how does Ryan feel about our relationship. I was like ugh…I think he gets it…_

 

_I knew you first…Ryan understands that. If he ever tried to tell me that I couldn’t have you in my life I would never had stayed in the relationship._

 

_You’re the best Harry!!_

**© **© © ©****     

_January is just the worst. I’m over the snow and cold._

 

_Come to Japan!!_

**© **© © ©****    

_How’s things with Greg?_

 

_Eh. He’s gone for the next month. Just taking it slow. Not too serious. He’s nice enough and pretty good looking. Plus it’s been nice having someone in my bed every once in a while._

 

_Do you think you could get serious?_

 

_I mean he has a good job and he has amazing abs but he travels a lot. I think that would be hard on a relationship. He’s basically the whole package but I’m not looking to get married tomorrow._

 

_I get that. Ryan works a lot and it gets lonely sometimes._

 

_I hate thinking about you being lonely Harry._

 

_Eh. You kind of get used to it. Plus I’ve been working a lot so that takes up my time._

 

_I miss you H!_

 

_I miss you too Lou!_

**©**   **© © ©**    

_may or may not be drunkest_

 

_Hi Harry. so you're drunk!?!_

 

_I blame Liam…oh fuck just so many shots in my pface._

 

_Were you at the bar to watch Nialler?_

 

_Yuppppp. May or may not be jealous of Greg_

 

_Oh Harry. You do realize that alcohol is your worst enemy?_

 

_Don’t want to share you_

 

_Harry you should go to bed._

 

_No_

 

_Yes! You know this always happens when you’re drunk…you say shit and then next day you freak out when you read what you texted me._

 

_Tell me I’m prettier?_

 

_Goodnight Harry._

 

_Tell me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

 

_You know I think you’re the most beautiful person in the world._

 

_Thank you_

 

_Goodnight Harry_

 

_Night Lewis_

 

_It’s day time here_

 

_Fuck of Lewis me drunk_

**©**    **© © ©**

_Ganbarimasu_

 

 _Lou l_ _earn a new word for fucks sake! Also sorry for drunk texts._

**_FEBRUARY_ **

_Happy Birthday Harry Edward Styles!_

 

_Thanks Louis!_

 

_I love your face!_

 

_Same!_

**© **© © ©****    

_Can we talk about the amazing Japanese rap album you sent me for my birthday!_

 

_I know right! I have no idea what the fuck they are saying but like who cares!_

 

_Thank you Lou!_

 

_Come visit me!_

 

_I’m so booked at the studio. I’m trying to figure it out!_

 

_Enjoy your day love!_

**© **© © ©**  **  

_Amazing! After months they finally accepted my request to join Hot English Teacher Mr. Tomlinson group on Facebook!_

 

_No you didn’t H!_

 

_Fuck yes I asked to join. I think someone figured out we were friends. I got a few friendship requests from some high school girls who attend school in Japan._

 

_I don’t want to know…what they are even saying on there_

 

_Oh it’s good! It’s kind of sad they have no idea you’re gay. Let alone that you’re not into underage girls…that you teach! The fuck? Kids today._

 

_Ugh…ugh…ugh. Please just leave that group and don’t accept any friend requests_

 

_I did remove myself when I read what one girl wanted you to do to her…_

 

_DON’T!!_

**© **© © ©****   

_Explain me a thing…why did I volunteer to chaperone the Valentines Dance? I knew there was a reason I’ve avoided this for years. Fuck I’m old…I think I need to burn my eyeballs to forget_

 

_Hahah! Was there some dirty dancing?_

 

_Umm were we that horny in high school?_

 

_Worse I’m sure! Should I remind you what happened Prom night?_

 

_I don’t remember…I was drunk!_

 

_Right you're still using that excuse Lou? If I remember correctly my night ended with a blowie in a hotel room by the school’s football star ;)_

 

_Do you ever sit back and wonder what the fuck is our friendship?!?!_

**© **© © ©****   

_Hot date for Valentine’s Day?_

 

_Right! A hot date with my hand and takeout_

 

_Greg not in town?_

 

_Nope!_

 

_How about you and Ryan?_

 

_He’s working._

 

_What! Christmas and Valentine’s Day. Oh man…sorry pal!_

 

_We all know it’s a commercial holiday anyway_

 

_No…this can’t be my hopeless romantic best friend texting me right now! Say it ain’t so Harold!_

**© **© © ©****    

_Who drank a whole bottle of wine tonight?_

 

_Oh geez Lou!_

 

_Lonely on Valentine’s Day…not a good combo. I feel good now tho_

 

_I bet!_

 

_I should pass out…but first a wank_

 

_Alright. Enjoy that_

 

_Right…forgot. You the only one who gets to text how much you want me when you’re drunk…_

 

_You can think about me that’s fine!_

 

_Ok. I will!_

**© **© © ©****    

_Ask me if I give a mother fuck?_

 

_Ok? Do you?_

 

_No…just jerked off to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 hahahahha1 I don’t give a shit if you’re married either_

 

_Fucking christ Lou._

**©**   **© © ©**    

_Seeing the last few texts to you on my phone include the messages that I jerked off to you is kind of making me cringe. I’m just texting you so I don’t have to see those when I pull open our messages_

 

_Hi Louis! I’m pretty sure nothing you say or do could or would surprise me_

**©**   **© © ©**    

_Tell me something special about your day!_

 

_Hi! I had an awesome photo shoot for a new brewery opening in town! They use all fresh local ingredients. It was neat to photograph food and beer! Best part was I got to taste it all after!_

 

_That sounds really awesome! Was it good?_

 

_It was amazing!_

**_MARCH_ **

_Guess who gets to chaperone the senior class trip to Tokyo Disneyland?_

 

_Is there Space Mountain?_

 

_YES!_

 

_I hate you!_

**©**   **©  © ©**

_Do you have a good recipe for pasta?_

 

_um boil water,  cook the pasta and heat up sauce_

 

_fuck off Harry. You know what I mean_

 

_No...no I don't!_

 

_I'm trying to be domesticated and cook for Greg._

 

_Wow...so you're trying to scare him away!_

 

_Fuck you._

 

_calm down there princess! I was kidding! Just get the more expensive sauce in the store, you can spice it up by adding grated cheese at the end. Get fresh bread too. Maybe even some vegetables to make a salad...you know that green stuff that you add dressing too??_

 

_Thank you. Was that so hard?_

 

_good luck!_

  _ **©  © © ©** _

_Spring break bitches!!!_

 

_Once again why didn’t I become a teacher????? Do you ever work?_

 

_I have the most important job…molding tomorrows youth_

 

_I’ve seen you stick your head in a hallowed out pumpkin and get it stuck. I’ve also seen you eat a plant on a dare. That kind of scares me!_

**©**    **© © ©**   

_Liam is in Japan!_

 

_Enjoy getting your culture on!_

 

_Yes, I am planning on seeing lots of amazing sights with Payno!_

**© **© © ©**  **   

_It would appear that Payno also likes to get drunk…do we have any other hobbies?_

 

_No!_

**©**   **© © ©**    

_One wordddd H._

 

_No don’t even!_

 

_Gggggggggggggggggggggganbarimasuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu_

_**©**    **© © ©**   _

_Payno just asked me why it’s so chilly here_

 

_What? Why?_

 

_He thought Japan had a tropical climate_

 

_For being smart he really is so dumb_

**©**   **© © ©**    

_Liam is in a gay club in Japan! I can die happy now_

 

_He actually went with you? Asshole! I’ve tried for years_

 

_He’s having a blast! I always knew he had this secret gay side…why else fight so hard all of these years!_

 

_Pictures or it didn’t happen!_

**©** **© © ©**   

_I got nominated for favorite teacher of the year._

 

_Wow look at you! What do you win?_

 

_A trophy….no, I don’t know nothing just the right to call yourself the favorite!_

 

_God of all people…this will go right to your head!!_

 

_Yes, yes it will! You had to write why on the paper and there were some really nice things written on most of them. However a few were out of control._

 

_Let me guess. Your ass? Face? Braces?_

 

_Something like that!_

 

_What did the nice ones say?_

 

_I used my humor to teach and it helped them understand the books better. Or that I’m interested in what they had to say and don't dismiss them. Or that this was the first time they ever read a book in English because I made it fun._

 

_That’s lovely! That must make you feel good!!_

 

_Yeah it does!_

 

_You’re a good teacher Mr. Tomlinson!!_

**© **© © ©****    

_I would kill for a piece of pizza from Napilo right now. I miss home too._

 

_You okay?_

 

_Just miss my mum and the girls a little. It’s too expensive for them to come out here plus I have no room for more than one other person at a time._

 

_I bet your mum and the girls miss you a lot too! I think we all do!_

 

_I love it here you know. But sometimes I just miss the comforts of home and being able to get the food I want when I want it._

 

_What are you summer plans?_

 

_Camp again. Zayn visiting and a few trips here and there. Greg asked me about going to this resort or something. You?_

 

_A week at the beach and working a lot. Ryan wants to do some stuff around the house which I will end up overseeing because he’s always busy with work…_

 

_Come visit me?_

 

_If I can  get out there it won’t be till fall. Hope you have a better day tomorrow!_

 

_Just need to sleep it off a little..._

**_APPRIL_ **

_Today one of my students wanted to know why we had READ the Great Gatsby when we can just WATCH the movie with Leo…this makes me sad_

 

_Valid question!_

 

_Everyone knows movies never live up to books!_

**©**    **© © ©**   

_Hi Louis! You alright?_

 

_Hi H. Yup! Guess who won teacher of the year?_

 

_Ahhh! Awesome pal!_

 

_I mean it’s kind of corny but it’s nice too._

 

_It’s nice! You should be proud!_

 

_Thank you!_

 

_How you feeling?_

 

_Better! Greg’s back in town so it’s nice having someone else around._

 

_That’s good! I was just checking in. You have a good day okay!_

 

_You too H!_

 

  _Bye Lou._

 

_That’s Favorite Teacher of the Year to you!_

 

_You’re the worst._

**© **© © ©****    

_Why did the banana go to the doctors?_

 

_Really bananas?_

 

_‘Cause he wasn’t peeling well…_

 

_You know your obsession with bananas is really a reflection on your sex life or mental health…not sure which!_

 

_I’ll have you know both are just fine!_

**MAY**

_Hi Lou!_

 

_Harry why are you up? It’s 3am there_

 

_Can’t sleep. It’s windy and the tree keeps hitting the window. I can’t settle back to sleep._

 

_Ryan working?_

 

_Yes. Tell me something amazing._

 

_The cherry blossoms in Japan are so beautiful. There is the one spot on base where I like to sit and read or just relax._

 

_Louis, I think I made a mistake._

 

_Harry_

 

_No listen. I am by myself all the time and the thing is Ryan’s work schedule hasn’t changed. The last year has just made me realize how much of my time was filled with you._

 

_Have you talked to him?_

 

_He just says what he always says which is that I knew what I was getting into with his career._

 

_That doesn’t seem like a very fair answer Harry. That's kind of a cop out._

 

_Ha yeah…the big house and nice car is great but money really doesn’t make you happy._

 

_Harry I’m sorry. Should I back off a little, not text you as much? I can do that._

 

_No please no. That’s not what I was saying._

 

_Okay._

 

_Louis why didn’t you tell me sooner?_

 

_I don’t know.  I was scared I was going to lose you._

 

_I’m sorry I’m being selfish. I really thought I could keep you both. Than you left me and now I’m second guessing my life over the last three years._

 

_Silver spoon…no one ever says no to you. You always get what you want. I think you’re having a hard time adjusting to the fact that for once you can’t have us both._

 

_I fucking miss you Louis. Save me like you always do._

 

_You’re going to have to save yourself this time Harry. Work things out with Ryan._

**© **© © ©**   **   

_Back Down South just came on my itunes…I may or may not have cried at work_

_**©  © © ©** _

_Umm are you growing your hair out Lou?_

 

_Why?_

 

_I'm Facebook stalking you_

 

_I haven't cut it since I got here..._

 

_shit what do you call that look you got going on..._

 

_the long hair and fringe look?! I don't know..._

 

_It's fucking hot Lou._

**© **© © ©****   

_Hi_

 

_Hi Harry. Funny I just got a text from Niall saying you are wasted in the middle of his living room right now._

 

_Lies…me fine_

 

_So that picture of you crawling on all fours because you can’t stand up??_

 

_Do you still crave meeeeee_

 

_Is your marriage still shit?_

**©**   **© © ©**   

_I would wish you a Happy Anniversary but you know…_

 

_Fuck off Louis._

**© **© © ©**  **  

_Are we okay?_

 

_Yea…_

 

_Okay cause like our last few conversations have been a little hard to read tone wise…_

 

_I’m sorry if you felt we were fighting Harry._

 

_I’m good if you’re good, Lou._

 

_I’m good, H!_

**©**   **© © ©**    

_Happy last day of school Mr. Tomlinson!!_

 

_This is what I live for as a teacher…last day of school!!_

 

_Any big plans to celebrate?_

 

_Going out with my co-workers and getting wasted!!!!!_

**©**     

_Yes_

 

_Hi Lou. Shouldn’t you be passed out drunk somewhere?_

 

_teh answer to your question from teh ohter day is yes_

 

_Louis_

 

_Moving here hasn’t helped. Nothing hepls_

 

_Let’s talk about this when you’re sober ok. Tomorrow?_

 

_Does it realllly matter? Wasted or no wasted me there you here…doesn’t change anything_

 

_It could!_

 

_Right. You awalys love to fukc with my head_

 

_Not true Louis. Come on._

**©**   **© © ©**  

_we got to talk about this?_

 

_I know...I should feel bad right? Like I should care that you're married and I just don't. Even when I say things that I know I shouldn't. But the crazy part is that I don't care because we've always been this way even when we've dated other people in the past. Shit I think that's why so many of our boyfriends never worked out because they couldn't handle the competition._

 

_Trust me I get that. I'm the married one and I'm more emotional connected to you than my own husband. I get it though because I know I should care too but I just don't because it's you. I think if this was going on with Niall, Zayn or Liam we would both feel guilty but this is how we've always been Louis. It's probably inappropriate but who the fuck cares._

 

_I'm going to take some time. Greg invited me to this really nice beach front resort for the week and I'm going to go. I need some time to clear my head and think a little bit. I think you need some time too._

 

_I hate when we don't talk. I hate not sharing silly things with you or just checking in. You're my best friend. I've missed you terribly that last year._

 

_Same! But it's a week or two. Just a little space to bring us down a little. I miss you too!_

 

_Okay. So two weeks. Have fun with Greg! Relax a little and have some fun! You deserve someone that treats you as special as you are! Let him spoil you a little bit!_

 

_I'll have my phone if you need me okay!_

 

_I know! Talk soon okay!_

 

_Love you Harry_

 

_Love you Lou_

 

 


	3. Japan: Second Year

 

**_JAPAN-SECOND YEAR_ **

**_TEXT MESSAGES_ **

****

**_JUNE_ **

_Hey stranger!_

_Hey Lou! You back?_

_Yes, had a lovely little vacation._

_Good! Camp starts soon, right?_

_Tomorrow. How are you?_

_I’m good. Work has been so busy._

_Busy is good! How’s Ryan?_

_Right now Ryan and I good!_

_That’s good to hear!_

_You and Greg?_

_Getting closer and I like him a lot. But I mean I only have a year left here. I’m just trying to be smart about all of this. For now I’m just having fun and getting laid too!! I’m knackered from vacation so I’m going to hit the sack. You have a nice day at work Harry!_

_Lou, can we talk soon?_

_Sure…have a good one!_

_I miss you Louis._

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Did I just see a picture of you with a headband in?_

_Possibly!_

_Fucking hell, Louis._

 

_You like it?_

 

_What has Japan done to you? Face scruff and long hair…_

 

 

_I actually wore a pony tail the other day at camp._

 

 

_I need a moment!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_I’m tired of feeling alone_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Let me tell you what…the girls here love them some Zayn_

 

_I don’t doubt it!_

 

_Shit…everywhere we go girls are like “hi” “you famous?” “take a picture with me” “let’s dance” “let’s fuck”_

 

_It’s the cheekbones and his skinny legs and ass!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Anime and Comics could pretty much sum up Zayn’s trip!!_

 

_You didn’t get drunk?_

 

 

_Oh yea we got drunk!_

 

_No drunk texts? I’m so disappointed!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_I hate looking at budgets…I thought taking photos would mean I wouldn’t need to know math…fuck, they told me there would be no maths!!_

 

_Get a calculator!_

 

_I have one thanks!_

 

**_JULY_ **

_Fireworks are so pretty, Lou!!_

 

_Did Zayn have fireworks this year? Tell me at least one of you is sober??_

 

_Yup!! And no…drunk fireworks are the best!!_

 

_Everyone still have all their limbs? Or at least their hair!_

 

_Of course…we are very safe over here!_

 

_Miss you Harry!!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Mango ice cream. Mango ice cream, mango ice cream!!_

 

_Sounds delicious!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Hey Louis. I’ll be at the beach next week!!_

 

_Enjoy your vacation!!_

 

_Miss you!! Talk soon, okay!!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Do you think I would look good if I cut off my curls??_

 

 

_I think you would look good no matter what…I’m just partial to those curls_

 

 

_I’m just feeling like I need to do something drastic…like cut my hair, get another tattoo or quit my job and teach yoga._

 

 

_I think that’s called a quarter life crisis or something…_

 

 

_Is that what you’re going through with that long hair and face scruff?_

 

 

_Shut up :) What would Ryan say if you cut off the curls?_

 

 

_Ha…he wouldn’t care probably. He doesn’t have a fetish for my curls like someone else I know._

 

 

_Wow…his loss than. Does he know the noises you make when you get your hair pulled during sex?_

 

 

_Nice Lou!_

 

 

_What it’s hot! just saying! Don’t cut those curls okay. Go get a tattoo or something!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Took your advice…got a new tattoo_

 

 

_Thank god the curls are staying! What did you get?_

 

 

_An anchor on the outside of my left wrist._

 

 

_To match my rope??_

 

 

_Yes._

_Wow. Send me a picture okay!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_It’s beautiful Harry!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_I don’t want to ever leave the house…it’s 110 out today._

 

_Shit don’t miss that right now!!_

 

_Spending the day in the pool and never getting out. Thank god for a private backyard so I can swim in the nude!_

 

_Christ Harry! You’re such an exhibitionist!_

 

**_AUGUST_ **

_Thought I would be domesticated and bake a cake…why the fuck do I try?_

_What happened?_

 

_Well I just realized that I mixed up the amount of water and oil so I have a raw cake_

 

_Oh babe...when you come home I’ll bake you a nice cake!!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_I love fields!_

 

_Of course you do…_

 

_I could just lay in a field and watch the clouds float by all day!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_I just saw a cloud in the shape of your penis!_

 

_Harold! Geez! So it was like huge right???????_

 

****

_Of course!!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Have a good day Mr. Tomlinson!_

 

_Thanks H!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_First day over!! You know with the rep of being the most favorite teacher EVER I have a lot to live up too!_

 

_You’re so vain! Hot Mr. Tomlinson!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_What’s golf club favorite music?_

 

_Oh fuck H…what?_

 

_Swing!_

 

_No!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Sometimes I look at my students and it scares the shit out of me that they are the future. That one day they will be making decisions that effect our society._

 

_Look at us…we’re doing okay._

 

_Hmmmm. Are we though?_

 

_Speak for yourself! I’m a fantastic member of society! I even joined a garden club down the street._

 

_Oh my god Harold…you really are a gay housewife!_

 

_What? It’s with a bunch of sweet old ladies who really enjoy talking about flowers over cute little  mini cucumber sandwiches, cut out cookies,_ _and pink lemonade. My garden never looked better!!_

 

_Let me deflower your garden!_

 

_Shut up Louis! Plus I’m pretty sure you already did!!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_I’m getting turnt up!!_

 

_What?_

 

_Turnt up!_

 

_No one says that!_

 

_Not true…according to my students it’s cool._

 

_Are you drunk?_

 

 

_Maybe?_

_I sure hope so if you’re saying turnt up…you’re a fucking English teacher!_

**_SEPTEMBER_ **

_I grew the largest pumpkin in my garden club!_

 

 

_Haha do you hear yourself right now??_

 

 

_What!! It’s a big deal among the ladies…_

 

 

_Harry fuck do you ever get laid?? Tell Ryan to stop working so much!!_

 

_Some friend you are Lewis!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Do you get American Horror Story in Japan?_

 

_Ugh…even if we did I would never fucking watch that scary shit…I fucking live alone._

 

_It’s good!!_

 

 

 

_I'm sure it's great but no one here to protect me!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_September can just fuck off!_

 

 

 

_It's over soon, H!!!!_

 

 

 

_I'm so busy I barely have time to sleep or eat..._

 

 

 

_Take care of yourself okay!_

 

**_OCTOBER_ **

_Morning H!_

 

_Louis!!! Hi!_

 

_So I just realized that I have exactly 8 months left in Japan. I’ve had a visit from all the boys but you. Any chance you’ll be gracing me with a visit before I leave?_

 

_Umm I know. Shit friend I am, huh? I really want to come visit it’s just that I’m really booked at the studio the next few months. I’ll try to look at my schedule this afternoon._

 

_You would love it! Just ask the boys how much fun they had!_

 

_If I said I would than I will!! I gotta get ready for work now. I’ll text you later okay!_

 

_Check your schedule! Bye_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_I can’t sleep. It’s been a few hours have you had a chance to check your schedule???_

 

_Louis you should be sleeping!!! You have the job of molding our future ;)_

 

_Don’t change the subject—I know you too well!!_

 

_Look Louis I’m just busy with work and I really I just can’t come visit. I’m sorry._

 

_Okay. I mean I’m a little disappointed and maybe a little hurt but its fine. I get it._

 

_I’m sorry. Don’t be upset with me okay!_

 

_Of course H. Listen I should probably fall asleep now. Minds to mold and stuff! Talk to you later?_

 

_Goodnight Lou! Yup, I’ll text later this week okay! Love you friend!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Loiuis are you there?_

 

_Hi Harry. It’s really late why aren’t you sleeping??_

 

_Me drunk0 jut get home_

 

_Boys take you out?_

 

_Nial, Zaynie and Lima got me drunked_

 

_You’re texting is amazing right now!!_

 

_I ducking miss you_

 

_Okay? I think the word you’re looking for is fucking but I got you!_

 

_Yes lots of fucking. Fucking fuck miss you._

 

_I miss you too H! That’s why I want you to come visit me!_

 

_I wish yuo coulde fuck me right now._

 

_Harry…you’re so drunk._

 

_Still want you to fuck me_

 

_You should go to bed. We can talk later okay. Plus, when you wake up in the morning and read through your text don’t freak out ‘cause I know you’re drunk okay!_

 

_That’s why I can’t visit yuo in Jepan. I don’t think I woulde be ablee to leave._

 

_You should go tuck yourself into bed next to Ryan okay._

 

_He’s at work. Sleeping alone like normal_

 

_He’ll be home soon. You won’t be alone for long._

 

_Haha righteeeeeeee to bade he sleeps in the guestroom most nites_

 

_Go to sleep love. Let’s talk later okay! Good night Harry. Have sweet dreams._

 

_Nighe Lewis_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_How you feeling today champ?_

 

_Death…._

 

_I know you so I know you read through your texts this morning. You want to talk about it?_

 

_I’m sorry that I asked you to fuck me twice…I just have to say sorry for that :( Ugh alcohol is such a bitch sometimes…_

 

_Hey, come on look who you’re talking to. No need to explain! I was thinking more along the lines of Ryan sleeping in the guest room._

 

_It was good like for a while. But ugh it’s been hard the last few months. I’m working on it. I just feel so far away from him sometimes. One day I woke up and he was in the guest room and I felt nothing…nothing. I didn’t feel bad or sad…like I had no desire to fix it so he would come back to our bed._

 

_Haz I’m always here to talk. You know that right?_

 

_No offense but I just I think it’s better to not talk about my failing marriage with you Louis. You know…_

 

_None taken. I get that! Will at least talk to someone though?_

 

_I have been with my mum and Gemma._

 

_Good! Just don’t give up on it. Every relationship has ups and downs just because you're married doesn’t mean it’s all of the sudden different than before._

 

_Thank you Louis. I’m sorry again!_

****

**_NOVEMBER_ **

_I overheard a student in the hallway tell her boyfriend she couldn’t wait to “grain on that wood” later_

 

_Shit…I just chocked on my coffee._

 

_I had the joy of making eye contact with them both after she said it…_

 

_They are just drunk in love Mr. Tomlinson…_

 

_I told them to just make sure they use protection._

 

_Solid advice!!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Happy Thanksgiving, turkey!_

 

_They put me in charge of mashed potatoes…can’t really screw those up too bad, right?_

 

_Just add lots of butter and salt!_

 

_Guess you can’t go wrong with butter!! Happy Thanksgiving Harry!_

 

****

**_DECEMBER_ **

_I just choked on a blueberry_

 

_This doesn’t surprise me_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_I was just about to text you and I dropped my phone right on my face…fuck my lip is bleeding now_

 

_Oh sorry babe! You good?_

 

_Shit…that’s what I get for texting your ass!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_I hear you all are having a blizzard?_

 

_Yes, over a foot of snow and still falling._

 

_Build a snowman yet?_

 

_No…I’m just sitting on the couch watching The Notebook…Ryan’s stuck at work_

 

_Aw bummer…good movie though!_

 

_Praying the power stays on because the roads are shit and I don’t want to freeze to death all alone…_

 

_Stay warm love!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Happy Birthday Pal!!! Xoxoxo_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_You never responded back to my birthday text??_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Sorry couldn’t find my phone for a minute! Thank you H. Miss you!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Happy Christmas Love!_

 

_Merry Christmas!! Next year I’m throwing the biggest Christmas party ever because I’ve missed you…_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_You’re so far away Lou. Like I just looked at a map and you’re so fucking far away._

 

**_JANUARY_ **

_Happy New Year’s Love!_

 

_Promise me next year we will spend New Year’s together?_

 

_We will have a big old party at your house!!_

 

_Promise?_

 

_Promise!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Greg told me he loved me last night…_

 

_Wow…did you see that coming?_

 

_No. I was kind of shocked! At first I tried to act like I didn’t hear him but then he said it again._

 

_Did you say it back?_

 

_Told me him I needed some time. He’s so understanding that’s its gross sometimes._

 

_He sounds like a great guy. Have you thought about what’s going to happen when school is over?_

 

_I’m trying to live in the moment. That’s why I’m kind of like scared to go there with him because I’m leaving soon._

 

_Who knows what will happen in the next few months…don’t push him away just because you’re scared._

 

**_FEBRUARY_ **

_Happy Happy Happy Birthday friend!! Xoxox love you!_

 

_Thanks!_

 

_I can I just tell you that I can’t wait till your gift arrives!! I’m giddy with excitement over it! Text me as soon as you open it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME!!_

 

_I take it your gift arrived!!_

 

_Okay first thing…I just redid my office at the studio last week and I have a whole blank wall. I was debating framing some photos or looking for a new piece of wall art._

 

_So you are telling me that the huge poster of the word _Ganbarimasu will now be hanging in your office??? Fuck I’m so glad I got it in the biggest size they made!__

_I’m getting in framed later this week! Thank you Lou! I really love it :)_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_I feel old!_

_It’s a privilege to get old Louis…what the alternative to not getting old!_

 

_Oh wise Harold!_

 

**_MARCH_ **

_Hey you busy?_

 

_No…just doing some editing._

 

_So I got some news…_

 

_Okay…_

 

_Greg took a promotion that would keep him in Japan full time._

 

_So what does that mean?_

 

_He asked me to stay after my contracts up and move in with him._

 

_What did you say?_

 

_That I needed to think about it. I’m not sure about staying here and living here permanently. I miss my family and friends. I miss home._

 

_Ok._

 

_I’m like torn…because he’s really great too. I don’t want to be giving up on something because I’m scared._

 

_You’re not going to like what I have to say so maybe you should talk to one of the boys about this instead of me…_

 

_I’m not asking for your permission or approval H. I’m just telling you._

 

_Well glad to see where I stand now Louis._

 

_Fuck off Harry._

 

_I miss you Louis. Don’t you miss me?_

 

_Yes, so fucking much. I’ve begged you to visit me…_

 

_I told you why I can’t._

 

_So what does that mean if I come home? I mean will we be able to hang out and still be close?_

 

_I hope…it’s what I’ve been thinking of since you left. Please come home Louis._

 

_I told him I needed time to figure it out. So that’s what I am going to do. I wanted to keep you in the loop since you said I didn’t last time._

 

_Okay._

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Hi H! You good?_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Hey you alright?_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_anata ga koishii desu (that means I miss you)_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Hey stranger! I’m beginning to think you’re avoiding me._

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Okay so now I know you are…_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_I told Greg I loved him back_

 

_You did?_

 

_Really that’s what it takes to get your attention?_

 

_I’m not avoiding you I just had some stuff going on and I don’t want to lay it on you with your own big decisions pending._

 

_Like what kind of things?_

 

_Life things…_

 

_Really H? What the fuck does that even mean?_

 

_So you told him you loved him?_

 

_No…I just said that to get you to talk to me. Still not sure about saying that yet._

 

_Have you made up your mind about coming home or staying?_

 

_No. I’m still torn. Talk to me Harry. Tell me what’s going on with you. Why it’s been dead air for like weeks now._

 

_I will…it’s not a good time now._

 

_I always be here for you Harry. Anything._

 

_I know that Lou. I just need some time._

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!_

 

_Hi Harry. You good?_

 

_NOOOOOOO I mean fuck YESSSS!!!!_

 

_What’s up?_

 

_I can’t even type I’m so like shocked right now. So the boys took me out to cheer me up and I picked that really fun gay club (Cocktails) because I’m sad and I got to pick! Oh fuck…Liam kissed a guy! Oh fuck!_

 

_AHHH I squealing over here!!!_

 

_It was so amazing because we are all having fun and dancing and forgetting our troubles…the guy was so fit too. Like I mean fuck. It was hot. I think Liam liked it you know I don’t think he’s gay just having fun._

 

****

_No of course, he's just letting his little freak side out! Everyone needs to let it fly every once in a while!_

 

_Shit, now if only I can convince Zayn next :)_

 

_Why are you sad Harry? Please talk to me!_

 

_I’m better now. Not just because Liam kissed a GUY but I’m good right now._

 

_I hate thinking of you anything but happy. I need you to talk to me love._

 

****

_I will. Just not in the middle of Cocktails._

 

_Go have fun! Send me a picture if it happens again!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_“I wanna be drunk when I wake up on the right side of the wrong bed.”_

 

_“And I owe it all to you my little bird”_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Hey H so I’m kind of a little confused._

 

_About?_

 

_So the boys are being weird about you…and shit. I feel so lost right now. Please just talk to me love. I want you to talk to me._

 

_Louis don’t._

****

 

_Please Harry. You’re my best friend, tell me._

 

_We separated…about three weeks ago._

 

_What do you mean?_

 

_Ryan and I are separated._

 

_Are you okay?_

 

_I’m doing okay. I moved into a one bedroom apartment near the studio. He told me I could stay at the house but it didn’t feel right._

 

_I wish you would have told me this…I want to be able to support you and stuff during difficult times._

 

 

****

_I know you are figuring stuff with Greg and I didn’t want to be the reason you picked one or the other._

 

_So what happened?_

 

_I wasn’t happy anymore…maybe I never was. I just couldn’t’ stay anymore it wasn’t fair to either one of us anymore._

 

_Was it my fault?_

 

_No. Not all Louis. If anything I think you telling me that you loved me two weeks before I got married should have been a wake-up call to follow my gut. I just was scared of letting everyone down. We had all these guests coming and money had been spent. I don’t know._

 

_Are you happy now?_

 

_Yes! More than I’ve been in a very long time. For the first time since I can remember I feel like I’m at peace with my life. I’m happy!!_

 

_Then I'm happy too!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_So are you saying there is a chance I can still run my hands through those curls??_

 

_Is this just hitting you now??_

 

_I just had alone time…can’t help what thoughts pop in my head!_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Harry wake!!_

 

_Fuck Louis it’s almost 4am…fuck_

 

_Don’t care need to talk to you now…_

 

_Are you drunk??_

 

_Not the point._

 

_Okay so what’s up?_

 

_Why?_

 

_Why what Lou?_

 

_Why now…why did you leave Ryan now?_

 

_I wasn’t happy._

 

****

_It’s just like fucked Harry…now I’m trying to figure out shit with Greg and then you go and drop a bomb on me about separating from Ryan._

 

_I didn’t want to tell you._

 

_Well you did. It’s really fucked up H._

 

_So I’m like a scapegoat now because you can’t make a choice about staying or coming home._

 

_You always do this to me…_

 

_I haven’t done anything to you Louis. Do what you want okay._

 

_Yes you do…you always find a way to keep me even when I don’t want to stay._

 

_That’s not fair. We’re best friends Lou._

 

****

_So what if I pick Greg? You getting back together with Ryan?_

 

_No…that’s over. I’m filing for divorce once my attorney gets the paperwork in order._

 

_Fuck Harry. Fuck Fuck Fuck._

 

****

_I’m sorry. I’m not trying to make this difficult._

 

_I don’t think we should talk for a while._

 

_Whatever you need Lou._

 

_Don’t text me okay. Just don’t fucking text me._

 

_Don’t be angry with me…please Lou._

**_APRIL_ **

_I can’t handle you mad at me Lou. Please_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_I didn’t do this to keep you. Like really for the first time in a long time I did something for me and now you’re making me feel like shit about it._

 

 

_It’s just fucking typical Harry. You always get what you want. It’s fucking maddening._

 

 

_You still have free will Lou. I’m not making you come home._

 

 

_Right because putting the thought of us in my head isn’t a sure way to get me to catch the first flight home in June._

 

 

_Shit Lou. You really give me too much credit, you know. Fuck off. Do what you fucking want okay. Just know I’m not sitting at home waiting for you ok._

 

 

 

 

_Well what the fuck does that mean Harry?_

 

 

 

 

_It means I go out too. I have fun. I don't sit at home waiting for you._

 

 

 

 

_Just don't...just fucking don't Harry._

 

 

 

 

_Please don't leave it like this Lou._

 

 

 

 

_Fuck off!_

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. May

**_May_ **

_Harry looks around the terminal as he waits for his flight to board. His half full Starbucks coffee sits in between his thighs along with the muffin that’s gone uneaten. He is a shit flyer. Come on, it’s completely unnatural for humans to be in the air. Fuck. It does not help that this flight is like a million hours long and over the ocean. Thankfully, he still had some sleeping pills that Ryan had given him once, he stuffed a few in his pocket with the intention of taking them as soon as he steps foot on his connection in Atlanta._

_Although, if he is being honest the nausea that has taken over his whole being is probably due to the fact that he has booked a flight to Japan without even telling Louis he was coming. Of course, he talked it over with the boys before buying the ticket. They all encouraged him and told him that Louis would be nothing but thrilled to see him. Harry isn’t so sure about that and is totally second guessing himself._

_It’s kind of hitting him the moment, all the small details he didn’t think about before spending a large amount of his savings on a plane ticket to Japan. One, like what if Greg is there and how that might be a little awkward for all three of them. Or, like how he actually plans to get on base in the first place. Of course, he will have his passport and id but like Harry is having a hard time imagining they are just going to let him walk onto base without Louis being present. That might be the biggest kink in his plan. Third, what if Louis freaks out seeing Harry. He should probably book a hotel in case of that happening. Harry flips through his phone shooting a text message to his assistant to find him a nice hotel in Tokyo just in case this all goes to shit. A few moments later she sends him the confirmation email. Having a back up plan seems to have calmed Harry a little. Let’s be honest he has hours in a small enclosed space all while flying at thirty five thousand feet to think about the shit show this may all turn out to be._

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_After almost twenty three hours of traveling Harry is standing in the Toyko airport. He is exhausted and he feels dirty. He managed to sleep for a few hours on the longest leg of his flight but woke up shaky and chasing more sleep. Before heading down the baggage claim to grab his luggage he changes his shirt and applies more deodorant. If he is going to just show up at Louis’s door he would like to at least smell nice._

_Thankfully, his luggage made the journey too. He quickly grabs it before heading to the front of the airport to hail a taxi cab to the base. So far so good. The taxi driver speaks minimal English and seems to understand where Harry is headed._

_Louis had been right. The city is amazing. On the taxi ride over all Harry can imagine is getting to explore the city and all the amazing sites and culture that Japan has to offer. The panic of how Louis is going to react has now returned but Harry did take note that they passed the hotel his assistant booked for him so if it all goes terrible he at least knows where he is going._

_Harry arrives at base, he exits the taxi and grabs his luggage from the trunk. He pays the driver and turns to the guards who are stationed out front. Suddenly Harry feels like he is guilty of something and fears that everything he is doing is casting suspicion on him when in reality he is just a normal guy standing in front the base. Fuck. Harry is now convinced that he is about to be detained and thrown in jail for a variety of reasons. The first being stupid enough to fly to Japan without a clue about where to find Louis. Breathe. Just fucking breathe he tells himself._

_Harry'a mouth is now dry and he swallows hard before turning to the guard standing at the gate. He forces a smile but decided against showing teeth he does not want to come off as crazy._

_“ID and passport.” The guard tells Harry. Harry quickly hands them over. The guard is now look back in forth between Harry’s ID, passport and face. “Long way from home. What brings you to Japan?”_

_“Surprising on my friends who’s a teacher on base.” Harry replies sounding kind of weak and timid._

_“You have any weapons on you?”_

_“No sir.”_

_The guards make quick work of checking Harry’s bags and backpack. He walks through the mental detector. Deeming him safe and not a security threat they wave him past the gate. Well fuck that went easier than Harry had thought. They actually let him on the base without a background check and strip search. Alright. It hits Harry he has no idea where the fuck he is going but he’s afraid if he turns around to ask for directions the guards will realize he’s some crazy stalker and kick him out. Shit._

_“Excuse me sir, can you tell me which way to the school on base?”_

_“Yes, take the sidewalk down to the stop sign and turn left. The school’s a few feet on the right side of the road.”_

_“Thanks.”_

_The walk to Louis’s school takes about ten minutes from the entrance of base. Harry’s heart is racing as he tries to formulate some game plan of how he is actually going to find Louis. His clock reads about quarter to three so he figures his best bet is to head to the school and hopefully find Louis before he walks to his apartment for the evening._

_Once, he arrives at the school Harry takes a seat on a bench out front as he watches the kids leave school for the afternoon and walk towards the housing units on base. The base is large with a variety of homes ranging from apartment buildings to large mansions that Harry figures are reserved for higher ranking members of the military. Harry has to remind himself that although the base looks like any other town in America with its Starbucks, restaurants and shops he is indeed in the middle of Japan._

_The crowd filing out of the school is now thinning out and no sight of Mr. Tomlinson yet. Harry figures he better ask one of the last few kids coming out of the school where Louis’s classroom is located before he is out of options. Harry looks up to see a red hair girl with a million freckles coming down the steps. He flashes his sweetest smile and ask her where he can find Mr. Tomlinson’s room. He cannot help but see her face light up at the mention of his name as she responds back “Room 230. The steps are on the left take them up to the second floor, his room is the third of the left side.” And with that Harry and his luggage are taking the steps up to the second floor. Here goes nothing._

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Harry finds Louis’s classroom right away. It’s just how Harry had picture it in his mind a small classroom decorated with a few small plants and bookcase full of books. He finds Louis sitting at his desk with his hands running through his long hair as he reads through a stack of essays. Harry stands for a few moments taking Louis in. The first time in almost two years that he’s seen Louis’s face. Harry wants to run into the classroom, swipe every item off his desk and straddle him in his chair, while peppering his face with kisses. Harry sucks in a breath. Shit._

_Harry walks to the threshold of the door and props himself up against it afraid he might falter if he doesn’t. Louis is still enthralled the essay he is reading to notice a figure now at his door. Harry clears his throat. Louis still doesn’t look up. Fuck. Harry clears his throat louder. Louis looks up and turns his attention to the door. Louis does a double take as he takes the sight of Harry standing outside of his classroom door._

_“Harry?” His voice is weak and it sounds like he is in shock._

_“Surprise” Harry smiles weakly still standing against the door._

_“What? When did you get here?” Louis is now standing up walking towards Harry._

_They are inches apart from each other now and Harry’s heart is racing because it’s Louis. It’s actually Louis in front of him and from what he can tell he doesn’t seem angry or mad just a little caught off guard but his face is still soft and eyes look gentle. Harry reaches out at the same time as Louis and they are embraced in a hug that is tight and affectionate. Harry breathes Louis in before whispering in his ear, “I’ve fucking missed you Lou.” Harry cannot help but smile when Louis returns the sentiment with an “I missed you more.” They pull apart and Louis shakes his head as he keeps his eyes focused on Harry._

_“I’m sorry if this is too much Lou.” Harry feels the need to explain what the fuck he is actually doing in Louis’s classroom on a Thursday afternoon in May. “I couldn’t get you to talk to me and I couldn’t stand leaving it like that so this seemed like the best option.”_

_“Long way to come for a talk?”_

_“I guess. Kind of hoping you would have time to show me around a little bit too.”_

_“Yeah okay I could fit you in.” Louis smiles, a real genuine smile at Harry and in that moment Harry realizes they are going to be okay. “Let me just gather up my stuff here and we can head back to my place. Shit you must be so jetlagged Harry. Come on let’s feed you and put you to bed.”_

_“Do I look that bad?”_

_“No, as beautiful as ever.” Louis throws the stack of essays in his bag along with his laptop before turning off the lights and locking his classroom door. They head out the door of the school. “Look I have like no food at my place so you want to stop for sandwich on the walk home?”_

_“Yes, that sounds great.” Louis bumps his shoulder against Harry’s before threading his arm in-betweens Harry’s elbow and side. “I hope I’m not intruding on like anything with Greg.”_

_“Harry you’re my best friend.” Louis does not look up at Harry but continues talking anyways. “Greg’s out of town this week”_

_“Oh. Okay.” Is all Harry can muster._

_They bring their sandwiches back to Louis’s flat. It’s small but clean. Every decoration and knick knack reminds Harry of Louis. It screams Louis Tomlinson so of course Harry is in love with it. They enjoy their sandwiches at the coffee table while splitting a bag of chips. They exchange small talk which is mostly made up of every detail of Harry’s flight to Japan and how he found Louis’s classroom. Harry is exhausted and is having a hard time keeping his eyes open now that his tummy is full._

_“I’ll clean up dinner, you go shower love. Than why don’t you go lay in my bed. I’m going to finish up some grading before I join you, okay.”_

_Harry just wants to sit with Louis but he also really wants to shower and sleep._

_“You sure?”_

_“Of course Harry. Look, I want to be able to spend all weekend showing you around so let me get this done now. Also we have all day tomorrow to talk. You get some rest.”_

_“Okay. Thanks Louis.”_

_“Towels are in the linen closet and just put your bags in my room okay. If you need anything just take it, alright?”_

_Harry gets his fresh boxers and t-shirt along with his toiletries before heading to the bathroom. Before he goes to shut the door he hears Louis call out. “Harry I’m really fucking glad you’re here.”_

_Harry takes what feels like the longest shower in history as he scrubs off all the remints of flying across the globe. He throws on his boxers and t-shirts, running his hands through his curls. He passes Louis who is back to reading essays on his walk back to the bedroom._

_“Feel better, love?”_

_“Yes. Just really tired now.”_

_“I’ll be in soon okay. Just get some rest! I’ve got lots to show you.”_

_“Thank you Louis.”_

_Harry climbs into Louis’s bed. As soon as he hits the pillow he is out like a light. He does not feel Louis climb in next to him a few hours later. He does not feel Louis run his thumb over his cheek before placing a soft kiss on his red lips. He does not hear Louis mutter the words “Are you even real?” into his neck._

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Harry hears rustling in his left ear. His eyes still feel tired like they are glued shut. His head is still wonky and his body is so confused with what time it is…he just wants to give into sleep and ignore the noise but it hits him that he is in Louis’s bed in the middle of Japan._

_He wakes up to find Louis looping his belt buckle in front of his mirror._

_“Morning.” Harry croaks out._

_“Hey, sorry I didn’t mean to wake you.”_

_“No, what time is it?”_

_“Almost seven. I got to be to work in about thirty.”_

_Louis is now sitting on the edge of the bed putting on a pair of brown brogue shoes, his ankles visible to the world._

_“You sleep okay?” Louis turns to ask Harry._

_“Yeah. I don’t think I moved all night.”_

_“Hey, so my last class of the day is my senior lit class. One Friday a month we do this thing where everyone writes down a question about literally anything they want and we just talk about the questions. So I was wondering if you would like to come by for that.”_

_“Yeah that sounds great. I would love that.”_

_“It’s anonymous and like no holds bar so you never know what you’re getting. It’s never dull.”_

_Louis stands up grabbing his bag from the chair._

_“Ok. Well class starts at 1:30pm so just check in at the office. I’ll let them know you’re coming.”_

_“I think I might go back to sleep for a little and then maybe do some exploring around base.”_

_“Help yourself to anything, okay.”_

_“Thanks Lou.”_

_“I’ll see you later. Bye H.”_

_Harry rolls back over curling up around the comforter and blankets. He’s asleep before Louis even leaves for school._

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Harry wakes up around 11:00 feeling famished, feeling like he slept through two or three meals. He grabs some cereal before taking a quick shower. He spends way too much time picking out an outfit. He should not be so worried about impressing high school kids but then again its Louis’s class and he just wants to look like he’s put together._

_He settles on a blue and white checkered flannel with the sleeves rolled up and the first two buttons undone and some tight jeans. Too tight for a place of learning but who the fucks cares. He ties his curls up in a one of the head scarfs he brought, something he just started doing to keep the curls out of his face during outside photo shoots. He checks in with his assistant back home and sends a few emails before he gathers up his messenger bag and camera._

_He’s got about an hour to kill before Louis’s class starts so he explores the base taking photos of random people and things he finds interesting. The people on base on friendly and a few even stop to talk to him about his camera or his visit. It’s welcoming and he can see why Louis has enjoyed his stay here. He can see why Louis may actually want to stay._

_Harry arrives five minutes early to check in at the office. The secretary is a middle age woman, Linda, who seems a little flustered at the sight of Harry standing in front of her desk. He flashes a dimply smile and she blushes a little. He gets signed in and sports his visitor pass before he turns to tell Linda to have a nice weekend. He heads to the steps passing a group of students who all do a double take at him. He hears one girl turn to her friend and ask, “Who is that?”_

_He reaches Louis classroom, the door is closed and Louis is sitting on his desk having what seems like a laugh with the small classroom of students. About fifteen students from what Harry can see. The perks of living on a military base, small classes and lower student teacher ratios._

_Harry knocks lightly and the whole class turns to the door. Louis jumps off the desk and opens the door up for Harry to enter. Harry notices that Louis squints his eyes for a minute and then amusement flashes over his face. Not sure if it’s the hair, or the flannel or the visible tattoos showing. Probably all three. It affects Louis a little and Harry’s heart races at the thought of that._

_Louis prompts Harry to follow him to the front of class where he stands a little pigeon toed and flashing a bright smile._

_“Class, this is my best friend Harry. Harry, this is my class.”_

_“Hi class!”_

_The class responds back by either saying hi or smiling. Harry turns back to Louis who is now sitting back on his desk, he’s left a little space for Harry so he walks over to join him on the desk._

_“Alright, take a minute to write down your thoughts or questions you want to talk about today.”_

_Harry observes as the students write down something on pieces of papers. One girl in the back looks up at him making eye contact. He flashes her a smile and she blushes but does not look away. Alright. That’s okay. Harry looks away to fiddle with his jeans. Louis hands Harry a piece of paper to write down his own question. So Harry does._

_Louis jumps off his desk to grab a basket and handing it to the boy in the front row. He places his paper in the basket before handing it back to the girl behind him. The basket makes its way through the classroom before making its way back to Louis. He hands the basket for Harry to put his question in before he takes it back opening the first question._

_“Alright, first question today…Text message or Facebook, if you had to pick one to use for the rest of your life which one?”_

_The discussion starts with students shouting out one over the other. Its organized chaos as the students discuss ("we don’t call it arguing") why for picking one over the other. It’s a lame question but the students are thoughtful about their answers and really putting thought in what they say and Harry figures that’s pretty much the point of the activity. To get students to realize that they do not always have to agree and to think outside the box. Harry loves that Louis does this with his class. It’s amazing to watch the students get hyped over a question that really has no bearing on real life._

_“Ok Harold. Your turn, Text or Facebook?”_

_“At first I was going to say Facebook only because you can always call and email someone. Then I realized that for the last two years I’ve pretty much only know about your life because of texting. Which, I should have called more, mate! Sorry about that! Facebook’s great but sometimes can be a little drama filled and ridiculous. So I’m just going to pick text messaging. Yeah, final answer text messaging”_

_Louis grabs the next question out of the basket. “How many tattoos does Harry have? Favorite?”_

_Louis turns to Harry raising his eyebrows his direction._

_“Umm I think the count is like closer to fifteen…and counting.”_

_“And favorite one?” Louis asks._

_“That’s kind of hard because I like them all otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten them. They all have special meaning to me or a symbol of something of significance in my life. I guess my two favorites would be my sparrows and hi tattoo.”_

_“Why those?” A voice from the back asks._

_“I love the sparrows I think they are beautiful. And hi because it’s a matching tattoo I have with someone who is really important to me.”_

_“I think my favorite is the moth on your chest.”_

_“It’s a butterfly, actually. Don’t listen to Mr. Tomlinson.”_

_“Okay butterfly. Only because it’s so ridiculous. You’re pretty ridiculous so it’s perfect.”_

_“Mr. Tomlinson do you have more than the rope on your wrist?”_

_“A few more. About seven or so.”_

_“Favorite?”_

_“Umm the fat bird on my forearm.” Louis rolls up his sleeve to show his class. “How about any of you guys. Anyone have any secret tattoos to reveal?”_

_“I got a blue bird on my foot.” Comes a soft voice from the back. “It’s not secret my parents know. And the words born free on my ribs.”_

_Harry flashes her a smile and she smirks back at him. “Why those?”_

_“The bluebird for luck and born free because I’m pretty much the screw up of the family so it just sums up my life…like my parents not really controlling my life.”_

_“Love, you can’t have screwed up that much in life you’re only what seventeen?” Harry softly responds_

_“Yeah something like that” The girl answers back before she looks down at her desk._

_Louis grabs another question from the basket. “Would Harry date a girl whose 18? Well Harry you seem to be a very popular subject today”_

_“Ugh sorry but eighteen a little young. Also you’re assuming that I date woman which is not true.” Harry looks over at Louis because he’s not sure if he was supposed to say he was gay. He’s pretty sure Louis doesn’t speak about his sexuality with his classes but Louis just flashes him a smile._

_“You’re gay? Of course you are because you dress stylish and you’re hot.” Someone from the front chimes in._

_“Those things don’t make you gay.” Harry retorts. “Just like in the future you know stereotypes and stuff. Plus I’ve dated lots of men who dressed terribly.”_

_“Alright with that, next question.” Louis grabs one and groans after looking at it. “Come on Julie! Well actually, Harry I know you will get excited about this one…alright it says Team Pacey or Team Dawson, damn right I’m bringing this question back!”_

_“Julie, really?” A boy asked from the back row._

_“Isn’t this supposed to be anonymous?” Harry asks._

_“What guys. Come on by now all of you have had a chance to enlighten yourself to the world of Dawson’s Creek I know you all have Netflix.”_

_“Yes supposed to be anonymous, but Ms. Julie has brought this question up at least twice this year.”_

_“I love Dawson’s Creek. Don’t let Lou fool you, he watched it religiously too.” Harry smiles._

_“So which one than?” Julie asks Harry._

_“Team Pacey all the way! Dawson was such a baby about everything! Joey and Pacey are soul mates.”_

_“Okay moving on.” Louis chimes in._

_The rest of the class continues with silly questions and heated discussions and before Harry knows it class is over and Louis is gathering up his things before they head out back to Louis’s apartment to freshen up before dinner._

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Louis takes Harry to a popular steakhouse in Tokyo where Harry orders plum wine and delicious steak, vegetables and rice. Harry is a little tipsy on his third glass of wine and is feeling the atmosphere of the restaurant and being with Louis._

_“This is delicious Lou. Thank you for bringing me here.”_

_“I know, it’s one of my favorites in the city.”_

_Harry knows Louis has something on the tip of his tongue. Harry looks up from his plate to catch Louis’s eyes and offers a small smile._

_“You loved Ryan right? I mean you got married to him.” Louis asks._

_Harry chokes on his wine. Well shit._

_“Yes, of course I loved Ryan.”_

_“Okay cause like I’m kind of feeling like a home wrecker.”_

_“Listen Lou, I fucking tried to work it out with him. I really tried. It was like talking to a brick wall after a while. Every time I wanted to discuss anything he just shut down. So than I tried to be more easy going and let stuff roll of my shoulder and that fucking didn’t work either. It wasn’t like I just woke up one day and said oh maybe I’ll get divorced today. It takes two to put effort into a relationship.”_

_“I’m not saying you didn’t try Harry.”_

_“I fucking did. Guess what it didn’t work out. Fuck it’s like everyone just can’t get over the fact that for once in my life I wasn’t perfect. I’m getting a divorce okay. I’m not the first and I’m sure the fuck won’t be the last.”_

_“I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I’m just trying to understand.”_

_“I know. Look, did I think Ryan and I would be together forever? Yes. Did I start second guessing myself a little after you told me you were in love with me? Yes. Did I try to make it work with Ryan? Yes. Did I let myself think what life would be like if I was with you? Yes. Did it scare me? Yes. Did it start before I knew about you and Greg? Yes. It was the minute you said those words to me in my backyard. Were you in my head when I stood up at the alter? Yes. Am I big selfish fuck up? Yes. Yes, to all of it. Yes.”_

_“I never said you were selfish.”_

_“You don’t have to say it because I know you think it.” Harry reaches for his glass taking a big gulp. “I’m not here to tell you to break it off with Greg. I’m not. Really. Look I get it, I get why you would want to stay here. It’s a lovely country, the people are friendly, the foods good. I’m sure if you asked they would keep you on as a teacher for the base. I just needed to see you. I know you’re going to stay Lou. I just needed come here and make sure you were good and happy---”_

_“Another round of drinks?” The waiters’ voice cuts Harry off from finishing his thought._

_“Please.” Harry answers for them both._

_“So how long are you here?” Louis asks._

_“Um I leave Tuesday. I wasn’t sure how long you would want me to stay. I know you have a life and stuff.”_

_“So we have a few days to explore.”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Okay so first let’s finish our drinks and then I have this cool bar I want to take you too.”_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Harry and Louis shut down the bar, consuming way more blue and green drinks than one soul should and opt for a taxi ride back to Louis’s place. They stumble through the hallway and fumble with the key before successful entering the apartment._

_Harry claims the bathroom first, brushing his teeth and splashing his face with water before stripping off his shirt and pants. Harry leaves the bathroom with one goal in mind climbing in Louis’s bed and sleeping till forever. Harry’s notices that Louis is not in the living room or kitchen when he leaves the bathroom. He turns to enter into Louis’s bedroom when he finds Louis standing at the foot of the bed staring at Harry with wide hungry eyes. Oh fuck._

_Louis approaches Harry who is standing in just his boxers and Harry should move but he is frozen in place. Louis is coming closer and closer and Harry is having a hard time swallowing at this point. He should move or step back but he’s fixated on Louis’s blue eyes and wet lips. Harry closes his eyes because he is almost certain he is dreaming or imagining this. A drunken hallucinations. That’s got to be it._

_Harry feels two warm soft hands on his naked hips and finger tips slowly dipping below the elastic of his boxers._

_“You’re hips are fucking sinful.” Louis whispers and Harry opens his eyes to find Louis lips closer to his own._

_Harry breathes in and he’s pretty sure he is holding his breath at this point. He wants Louis but not like drunk Louis. And not Louis with a boyfriend either._

_“Lou.” Harry tries to be the voice of reason but he is failing._

_“Shut up Harry. Just fucking kiss me.” Louis’s tone is harsh but his smile is soft._

_Harry is so weak right now. Focus. Focus. Focus. The word is rattling through his brain like a mantra. Oh god Louis’s lips are soft and pressed against Harry’s. They’ve done this tons of times over the years, sober, high, drunk, you name it, but of fuck right now Louis’s lips taste like the vodka and sweet syrup that made up their drinks. Louis’s hands are running the length of Harry’s back and Harry’s hands are pressed against Louis’s chest because he should be pushing him away at this point._

_But before Harry can react Louis’s tongue is now dancing with his and it’s everything that Harry remembers it to be. The warmth of his tongue and the thought of what that tongue can do to Harry’s body has now shot straight to his dick. Louis moans. He fucking moans into the kiss. Harry’s eyes shoot open at the obscene noise that comes from Louis. Snapping Harry back to the here and now. He pushes Louis’s chest away from his causing Louis to separate his mouth from Harry’s._

_“Fuck Lou.” Harry’s words come out fast._

_“I want you Harry, please.” Louis sounds desperate and needy._

_“Fuck.” Harry wants him too. But not like this. Not with so much up in the air. Not with the knowledge that Louis may be staying here. “Not like this Lou.”_

_“Like what?”_

_“You aren’t single. You may be staying here.” Harry’s voice gets softer. “We’re drunk.”_

_“Fuck when you did you become the voice of reason?” Louis removes his hands from Harry’s back and drops them down at his hips._

_The thing is that Harry can wait. He can wait. He’s good at waiting. He wants this. He just want it to be right._

_“Let’s just go to bed, okay?” Harry climbs into Louis’s bed and sinks into the pillow._

_Louis looks frustrated but climbs in next to him, turning away from Harry and leaving enough space that their bodies do not even come close to touching. Harry reaches out his toe to brush up against Louis’s calf to gage a reaction. Louis pulls away quickly so Harry stretches his leg out further to brush against Louis once again causing the same reaction from Louis. Harry knows there cannot be a lot of space left on Louis’s side of the bed so he wants to see how far he can push it. His toe reaches out again and Louis moves away but almost falls of the bed muttering “fuck” as he catches himself._

_Harry cannot help but laugh because he’s still drunk and its Louis...and he’s acting like a grumpy kitten._

_“Don’t laugh at me.” Louis stammers before adjusting himself comfortably back on the bed._

_“You’re so cute when you’re upset.” Harry hides his smile in his pillow._

_“I’m not upset!” Louis’s voice is high pitched. “You rejected me, Harry.”_

_“I didn’t reject you Lou. Is that what you think?” Harry turns to look at Louis now. “Come on turn around and look at me Lou.” Louis turns meeting Harry’s eyes this time. “Hey, come on. I would never reject you. If we are going to do this. This. I want it be right. I mean I already fucked it up once. I don’t want to fuck it up with you before I even get a chance to get it right. I mean fuck, have you even made up your mind yet?”_

_“I don’t know. I’m not ready to decide yet. I need more time.”_

_“Okay. Well it wouldn’t be fair to Greg.” Harry pauses. “Or me. And I don’t think I can do anymore heartbreak right now.”_

_“Harry.”_

_“Listen its fine okay. I didn’t come to Japan for sex. I came because I missed you. Look I have three more days left okay. You’re going to show me all the sites and good places to eat. I’m going to take tons of wonderful photos and make tons of wonderful memories with you. Than on Tuesday I’m going to go home, throw myself back into my work and try to find a new normal in my life--”_

_“And what am I going to do?”_

_“You’re going to keep teaching your students for the next three weeks and then you’re going to do whatever feels right.” Harry runs his fingers through the fringe falling into Louis’s eyes. “Look I’m so tired. Plus, you need rest if you’re going to squeeze as much as you can into the next few days.”_

_“Goodnight Harry.”_

_“I had lots of fun tonight! Goodnight Lou.”_

**_©_ ** _**©**    **©**_ _**©**_

_Tuesday comes before Harry is ready. Harry and Louis spent the weekend going nonstop. Harry was pretty sure he squeezed as much as humanly possible into such a short time. Monday Louis had school so Harry was on his own during the day but they enjoyed a nice dinner and sometime just relaxing that evening._

_Louis reserved a substitute for his morning classes on Tuesday so that he could accompany Harry to the airport. Harry cannot help but think that this is goodbye for a significant period of time. In his heart he knows that Louis is going to stay here. He could see the way Louis’s eyes lit up talking about the city, the culture, the people, the base, and Greg. It hurts Harry to think that’s the case but even now their timing is shit. It’s always shit. Something’s you just can’t get straight. Harrys starting to believe that Louis and him are just one of those things. That work better in theory but not in actually real time._

_The taxi ride to the airport is quiet. Harry feels tension but maybe that’s just his imagination at this point. Harry sits with his hands in his lap staring out the window and he sense that Louis is looking at him but he rather not make eye contact. He rather not cry._

_“Harry?” Louis breaks the silence. Harry turns to Louis. “Thank you, just thank you for visiting me.”_

_“Of course. Thank you for not kicking me out!” Harry offers a weak smile._

_Harry goes back to looking out the window, he feels Louis squeeze his knee but he does not response. He’s not mad at Louis. He’s not second guessing anything. He just wants his best friend back. He just wants Louis back._

_When the taxi pulls into the airport Harry is expecting Louis to say a quick goodbye and drive off in the taxi instead he watches Louis pay the taxi driver and walk over to Harry who is pulling his luggage out of the trunk. Harry gives him a puzzled look before Louis answers, “I just want to make sure you get checked in before I say goodbye.”_

_After Harry gets his ticket and checks his luggage he finds Louis standing against the wall looking through his phone. Harry clears his throat and Louis looks up._

_“You set?” Louis asks._

_“Yup.”_

_“Alright, fly safe. Text me when you get your connection in the States.”_

_“Yup.”_

_They stand in front of each other for a moment before Louis embraces Harry in a tight hug and Harry cannot help but hug back. Neither let go for what feels like minutes._

_When they finally do Harry speaks first. “Why does it feel like I’m never going to see you again?”_

_“Harry. Come on. Aren’t I normally the dramatic one?” Louis softly smiles and ruffling Harry’s hair in the process._

_“I should go.”_

_“I love you, Harry.”_

_And with those words Harry feels tears starting to form in his eyes._

_“Harry please don’t cry. You will see me again okay. We’re best friends. I won’t be gone forever”_

_All Harry can think about is Louis being happy with Greg. Marrying Greg. Starting a family with Greg. All on the other side of the world. Far away from Harry._

_Harry can wait. He knows he can. If he knew that the person he was waiting for wanted him back. He thinks Louis does. Or at least physically he did._

_“Bye Louis.” Harry places the gentlest kiss on Louis’s cheek before he turns to walk towards security._

_Louis reaches out to grab Harry’s hand. “Harry? Don’t leave like this. I need a smile. I can’t have you leave me crying.”_

_Harry wipes his tears and flashes Louis the cheesiest smile he can muster, dimples, teeth and all. With that Harry walks off towards security._


	5. May

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had plans...lots of plans to finish this on Tuesday but than it was like apocalypse now when weedgate broke out! So it took me a few days to get my head right!!!!!

**_May_ **

_Louis holds in his emotions until he’s safely in a cab heading back to the base. He’s pretty sure this isn’t some dream.  He's not about to wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of his bed. Harry was indeed standing in his classroom door Thursday afternoon while Louis was in the middle of grading essay’s on what the American Dream means today. He had indeed spent the last four days showing Harry around and ending their nights sleeping in bed together. They fucking kissed. Sure as shit they were drunk but they still kissed. Louis knows that if Harry had not been the one to stop it he would have fucked him or gotten fucked. Or both. At this very moment Harry is sitting in a terminal waiting to board his flight back home. His home. Their home._

_A noise startles Louis. It takes a second until he realizes the noise is coming from him. He is sobbing in his hands. Choking back tears. As the taxi driver looks through the mirror with an alarmed look on his face. Louis meets his eyes and gives him a reassuring nod that he’s okay and not in need of any help._

_Louis wipes his eyes and sucks in a deep breath. If there is one thing that Louis had learned from the whirlwind that had been the last four days is that he’s not sure if he is in love with Greg but he knows for sure that he is still in love with Harry. Right now in the back of a taxi cab he’s almost certain he may have just made one big mistake leaving Harry at the airport with such a pathetic goodbye._

_Louis jumps when he hears the taxi driver speak the total of the cab ride back to base. Too lost in thought to realize that he was already home. He pays his cab and flashes his school ID to the guards on base who let him in but not without first asking if he’s okay due to his tear stained cheeks and red eyes. He assures them he’s alright before heading back to his apartment to grab his school bag._

_His apartment._

_Too quiet._

_Too empty._

_No camera on the kitchen table. No flannel draped over the kitchen chair. No boots left at the front door. Other than the memories there are no signs that Harry had been here._

_Maybe it really was all a dream. Louis would have been convinced if he had not spotted the paper laying on his kitchen table._

_Louis recognized the paper right away. It was the paper that Louis had given Harry to write his question down during his class on Friday. He had forgotten that Harry had written down a question. It never registered to ask Harry what his question had been. Louis picks up the paper and opens it._

_Ask me to stay._

_Shit. Fuck. Louis reads it over again._

_Ask me to stay. Ask me to stay._

_Shit. Louis turns towards the door. This time he takes off running to the entrance of the base. Shit._

_He gets another set of peculiar stares from the guards at the front gate before he hails down a taxi directing the driver to take him back to the airport. Of course traffic is at a standstill and Louis is checking his clock he has about thirty minutes or less before Harry is due to board his plan. At this rate he may make it with only minutes to spare._

_And by some miracle the gods above seem to hear his prayers, traffic clears and the taxi is moving again. Louis spends the last of his cash on the taxi before he runs inside the airport. Louis has got about ten minutes to spare. He figures his best bet is to try to reach Harry by phone but when he goes to reach for it in his pockets it’s not there. Fuck. He left his bag back at the apartment and he does not remember grabbing his phone before he rushed out. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

_He has no phone and is complete shit at remembering numbers. He tries to think of options, he could call the boys but fuck he does not know any of their numbers off the top of his head either. Now Louis is starting to panic._

_He runs up to the check in counter for Harry’s airline and flags down the friendliest person he could find._

_“Can I help you sir?”_

_“Yes, shit this is going to sound so crazy. I forgot my phone and I need to get a message to someone who’s about to board a flight. It’s shit. I think its flight 1294 to Atlanta.”_

_“Sir, we don’t usually do this sort of thing.”_

_“Please. Just if-if I write down a note could you try, just try to have someone get it to him? Like his flight is leaving soon. Please.”_

_“Look. I don’t even know if I have anyone back here that can get a note to the terminal.”_

_“Please. I can’t let him get on the flight without him hearing from me.”_

_“Okay. Okay. Let me check. Hold on.”_

_She disappears behind the desk and appears a minute later holding a piece of paper and pen. “Look, write down what you want to say. I have an intern who isn’t busy at the moment.”_

_Louis quickly writes on the paper before handing it back to the lady. “Thank you so much. Thank you. His names Harry. Harry Styles”_

_“Look dear, by the time this gets out the terminal my guess is he’ll be on the plane. Once you’re on the plane you can’t get off so I mean whatever this notes says. You’re going to have to wait to hear from him once you get your phone and he's back on land”_

_“I’ve waited almost ten years. I can wait eleven hours.” Louis reaches out to grab the woman’s hand before saying “Thank you” again._

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Harry’s no longer crying when he boards his flight. His phone hasn’t rung. It’s early back in the States and Louis is back at school. Harry is going home. Alone. Too big of a coward to have asked Louis for what he wanted._

_Harry’s seated in row ten, middle seat, the fucking worst. He’s got his laptop out hoping to catch up on a few emails or projects over the next eleven hours. If he’s lucky maybe some sleep. He’s lost in his own thoughts when he hears the flight attendant ding over the intercom. “I’m looking for Harry Styles.”_

_Okay. What. Harry immediately thinks he’s boarded the wrong plan or maybe a mix up with his luggage. He raises his hand and the flight attendant comes back his direction. She flashes him a smile before handing him a note. “You must be pretty special for someone to go through all of this trouble.” He gives her a confused look before he opens the note._

_I don’t have to ask you to stay. I’m coming home in three weeks. I love you! xoxox_

_What the actual fuck? What is happening right now? Harry sits back down in his seat. Reaching for his phone, trying to reach Louis before his flight takes off, but the flight is starting to push back and Harry knows that the odds he’ll get through to Louis and get to have a conversation before he is told to turn off his phone will be slim._

_Harry stares at the words written on the paper a thousand times before he folds it gently and sticks it back in his pocket. This morning Harry felt lower than low and right now sitting in the middle seat of a forever long flight he’s feeling the highest of high. Louis is coming home. He’s coming home. Home. Harry’s pretty sure he has not stopped smiling since takeoff and the flight attendant keeps winking at him. He’s happy. Happy._

_Sometime during the flight Harry gives into sleep without the aid of a pill. When he wakes up he checks his pocket. Yes, the note is real. All he wants to do is turn on his phone and hear Louis’s voice. The minute he lands he’s flipping on his phone no matter what time it will be in Japan. The anxiety is killing him and if he did not think he would end up in trouble he would have turned his phone on already and called Louis a thousand times over._

_He turns on his computer and takes out the memory card of his camera. He spends some time looking through all of his photos from Japan. Giddy and smiling at the pictures of Louis and him. There are a few of just Louis and Harry feels butterflies in his tummy when he looks at the pictures. His Louis. Finally._

_There are so many great ones but Harry finds his favorite, its Louis standing in front of a temple, his eyes are so blue in contrast with the red and gray background and the blue shirt he’s wearing. His smile is wide and his teeth are showing. His hair is long and his face a little scruffy which makes him look a little older. Harry loves the photo. Thinks he might frame it and put it in his office._

_“Is that him?” A female voice brings him back. Harry looks up to see the flight attendant leaning over the seat to look at Harry’s computer._

_“Yes.” Harry looks up and smiles._

_“He’s gorgeous!” She smiles back before she walks back down the aisle._

_And finally after hours and hours of waiting and waiting the plane is making its final descend and the buckle up signs go on and now it’s just matter of time before Harry can turn on his phone._

_The congestion getting off the plane is unbearable. Harry’s always prided himself on being patient but fuck can people just grab their bags already and starting getting off the plane. Its easy people grab your bags and walk. And finally after what feels like longer then the actual fucking flight he’s off the plane and standing in the terminal in Atlanta. He still needs to clear customs before he heads to his connection to BWI but he’s got about two hours to kill so he finds a bench and thumbs on his phone. He speed dials Louis and its ringing._

_“Harry”_

_“Louis. Hi.”_

_“Hi. Did my note make it to you?”_

_“Yes! That was like a scene out of fucking Friends.”_

_“Shit. I know. I saw your note on the kitchen table and I rushed to the airport and when I got there I realized I didn’t have my phone. Of course I don’t know anyone’s number so I begged and begged for someone to deliver the note.”_

_“I got it right before takeoff. I couldn’t call you so I had to wait and wait. It was fucking killing me.”_

_“I know…I’ve literally paced around my apartment since I got home from school.”_

_“Louis. You mean it right? You’re coming home?”_

_“Yes. I mean I don’t have much to offer you. I’m homeless, I’m jobless and I sold almost all of my stuff before I moved out here. I do have some stuff stored at my mums. But like-like—“_

_“Louis. Please, I’m a twenty something soon to be divorcee who lives in a studio apartment above a Chipotle downtown.”_

_“Fuck. We’re a match made in heaven right now.”_

_“You have all summer to find another teaching position. And like you know you could always move in with me—if you want.”_

_“Really?”_

_“Yeah it’s nothing special or anything. I have a six more months on my lease and then we can find something bigger.”_

_“You sure you wouldn’t mind?”_

_“Louis. Come on. I would love to have you.”_

_“Ok. Yeah. Yes.”_

_“Good. I’m going to spend the next three weeks making room for you in my closet, drawers and stuff. I mean I have a little loft space that could fit another desk. You could do your lesson plans and grading there. So there no backing out once I move my shit around for you!”_

_“Never. I’ll be there in three weeks.”_

_“Three weeks! Look I should go soon to make sure I make it to my next flight.”_

_“Right. Okay Harry fly safe.”_

_“Hey Lou? I love you too.”_

_“I love you Harry.”_

_“I’ll text you when I land. Go get some sleep.”_

_“Bye love.”_

_“Bye.”_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_True to his word Harry spent the last three weeks making room for Louis in his little apartment. He managed to clear out half his closet and two of his drawers. He had left a lot of material items with Ryan and the house so he did not have much but he was able to donate a few items to charity. He also swung by Louis’s mum’s house to pick up some of the bigger items that Louis will need when he comes home. He wants Louis to feel welcomed as soon as he arrives. Making sure he felt like this space was his as well. His mum had a vintage desk that she was no longer using in her house so he gladly took it off her hands. He moved the desk up to their loft positioning the desk opposite of his. Harry decorated the wall by Louis’s desk with pictures that he had taken during his trip to Japan. As well as a few pictures of the both of them and the boys over the years._

_Harry is so anxious the night before Louis arrival that he literally cleans every inch of the apartment. Both to kill time and because he wants Louis to come home to a clean place. Harry lays awake in bed all night thinking about what Louis is doing on the airplane and if Louis is excited or nervous or anxious too._

_Harry arrives at the airport with an hour to spare. He didn’t want to be late and he just wants to see Louis. The anticipation as he stands by the entrance to security waiting for Louis to walk over the threshold into his arms. His phone buzzed that Louis has indeed landed. Harry is well aware of how fucking painful it is to get off a flight when you’re in a hurry. In what felt like the longest twenty minutes of his life he spots Louis and his headband walking towards him. Finally_

_Louis’s is smiling and heading in his direction “Fuck” Is all Louis can muster before he is wrapping himself in Harry’s arm, clinging to his body. Harry nuzzles his head in Louis’s neck taking him in._

_“Was your flight okay?”_

_“Just long. Happy to be here now.”_

_They wait for Louis bags to arrive before they walk to Harry’s car. Harry is about to open his door when Louis approaches the driver side of the car. He presses his body up against Harry’s who's body falls back against the door. Louis licked his lips before pressing them against Harry’s. The kiss is gentle and soft even though underneath the surface there is sexual tension and desire. Louis moves his lips against Harry’s neck. The sensation of Louis’s soft lips and his rough beard causes Harry to whimper. Louis takes notice and pulls away before bringing his lips to Harry’s ear whispering, “So be honest with me?”_

_Harry’s eyes flutter before whispering. “Of course”_

_Louis licks into Harry’s neck again before easing up and whispering against his wet neck, “Is Niall throwing me a party today?”_

_It takes a minute for Harry to register what Louis is trying to do before he pulled away and slaps playfully at Louis’s chest. “Are you trying to seduce the answer out of me? That’s not fair.”_

_“You said you’d be honest.”_

_“You’ve got me flustered right now.”_

_“Flustered? I like the sound of that.”_

_“With your lips and rough beard, all kinds of thoughts in my head right now.”_

_“What kind of thoughts?”_

_“Having beard burn on my inner thighs and maybe a few other places.”_

_“Fuck. Tell me we have time before this party.”_

_“There is no party.”_

_“Harry”_

_“Ok, if there was a party we’d have about five hours to kill before then.”_

_“Thank god. Okay I can work with five hours.”_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Harry is a little nervous. He wants Louis to like the apartment, their apartment. Harry opens the door and let’s Louis in first. Louis takes a look around, taking it all in. The kitchen is small but recently updated. There is a little sofa and love seat in the middle of the studio. Harry’s flat screen mounted on the brick wall. A tiny bistro table with four chairs on the opposite wall of the TV. There are two sets of bookcases that separates the main living space from the bedroom. Their bedroom. Harry’s king size bed takes up most of the space but there is also a dresser and a small closet. There is a set of spiral steps in the bedroom that lead up to a loft space. Louis takes the steps to the loft while Harry follows. There are two desks, one full of projects, cameras and small Mac. The other desk is empty. Ready for Louis._

_“Do you like it?” Harry asks sheepishly._

_“I love it.” Louis smiles up at Harry._

_“I figured you would need a desk for grading and lesson plans.”_

_“I love it Harry. Those pictures are amazing.” Louis points to the photos that Harry had framed from his time in Japan._

_“It’s not big or anything but it’s cozy. I made space for you in the closet and my drawers. So whenever you’re ready to unpack and your items arrive from Japan they all have a home. Oh yea there is a bathroom too. Off the kitchen. Not huge but just renovated”_

_“It’s lovely Harry.” Louis rubs his neck._

_“You tired babe?” Harry walks over to rub Louis’s shoulders._

_“A little.”_

_“Why don’t you go shower and then you should rest for a while.”_

_“Yeah that sounds nice. I mean the shower part. I got some other ideas in lieu of resting though.” Louis flashes Harry a sinful smile._

_“What kind of things?” Harry says coyly._

_“Umm I was thinking you could show me around the bedroom again?”_

_“You don’t waste any time, huh?”_

_“No babe, I’ve wasted a lot of time over the past four years. I got lots to make up for. Hope you’re ready.”_

_“You’re a menace Mr. Tomlinson.”_

**_©_** ** _©_** ** _©_** **©**

_Harry keeps busy around the apartment while Louis is in the shower. His mind is wondering and thinking. Jumping around between two thoughts. Sex. Louis. Sex. Louis._

_When he hears the shower turn off his heart sort of flutters. Harry contemplates just getting naked and spread eagle on the bed. Not wanting to come off as desperate, even though he fucking is, he just pretends to straighten up the already spotless bedroom. His back is turn to the door when he hears pitter patter on the hardwood floor. Harry freezes when he hears Louis come up behind him, he turns around to see a very naked Louis standing in front of him._

_“Hi.” Harry swallows hard._

_“Hi.” Louis smiles._

_“You’re dick is out.” Harry cannot help but lick his lips and smile._

_“Yes, yes it is.”_

_Harry moves closer to Louis, eyes running the length of his body. His eyes stop when they reach Louis’s dick. Shit._

_“I think you have too many clothes on right now.”  Louis winks._

_“I could take some off.”_

_“Yes, fuck Harry. Take them all off.”_

_Harry takes off his t-shirt and unbuttons his pants before shimming them off. Leaving just his boxers on._

_“So like is this a new bed? And like new sheets?”_

_Oh. Oh. Okay. Harry gets what Louis is hinting at._

_“Oh yea this is a brand new bed and brand new sheets. Left the other ones behind.”_

_“So we will be the first to have sex on this bed?” A smile forms on Louis’s face._

_“Yes. The first on our bed.” Harry says._

_“Ours. I love the sound of that.” Louis’s says before repeating the words. “Our bed.”_

_At those words Harry jumps at Louis. Attaching his lips to thin ones that adorn Louis’s face. Shit. Harry’s not holding back, his tongue is licking at Louis’s. He’s wanted this for a long time. He held back in Japan because it was the right thing to do. That did not mean it was the easy thing to do. Louis fumbles with trying to get Harry’s boxers off before he pushes Harry down on the bed. Their bed._

_Louis is trailing kisses all over Harry’s body. Sucking hard and leaving marks. Marks that will turn red then blue then yellow eventually fading back to the color of creamy white skin. Marks that mean Louis is home. Here with Harry. It does not take Louis long to remember, as if he could ever forget, the places that make Harry squirm and moan. Louis is nibbling on the inside of Harry’s thighs, while he whimpers and shakes underneath Louis. Harry is desperate for Louis, hard and aching with desire._

_“On your belly.” Louis whispers softly. Harry does not protest he just rolls over. Giving it all over to Louis._

_Louis places his arm under Harry’s tummy causing his hips and bum to come off the bed. Holding Harry around his hips, he places his other hand on Harry’s throbbing cock, giving a few quick pumps while Harry cries out._

_Before Harry has time to wrap his head around what Louis is doing, he feels a warm tongue licking around his hole. Long licks, up and down, over and over again.  Warm and rough. Tongue and beard. Harry is a mess right now. Squirming and putting all his weight against Louis’s forearm unable to hold himself up anymore. Pleasure overtakes him. Harry can only muster, a meek “fuck” before his face is back into the bed sheets._

_“You fucking taste so good.” Louis whispers against Harry’s ass. “I’m going to fuck you now.”_

_“Please.” Harry says. It comes out as a whisper. He’s not even sure if Louis even hears him._

_Louis makes quick work of opening Harry up with the lube Harry has on the bed stand. Harry fucks down hard on Louis’s fingers, desperate and needy. Harry is aching to ride Louis. To feel the feeling of being filled up. Raw and pure pleasure. Want and need._

_“You’re going to ride me love. I want to see your face.”_

_Harry slowly lifts onto Louis’s lap. With two gentle pushes Louis can feel the tightness surround him. Louis looks at Harry for reassurance before Harry’s head drops back and eyes flutter. With that acknowledgment Harry is riding Louis slowly while they maintain eye contact. Shit. This is happening. They are together after all these years. It’s intimate. It’s special. It’s meaningful. It’s right._

_With that Harry and Louis fuck faster. Louis finds the spot that makes Harry’s eyes roll back. Louis pulls on Harry’s curls for good measure. Harry clutches down hard on Louis with every thrust. Moans and whimpers all around. Who knows who voice is whose at this point._

_“Shit. Fuck, Louis.”_

_“You’re so beautiful Harry.” Louis licks at Harry’s lips. “I’m so close babe.”_

_With a few more quick deep thrusts and one solid pull of Harry’s curls, Louis comes inside Harry. Long and hard. Filthy. “Shit. That felt so fucking good.”_

_With those words and Louis’s hands still firm in his curls Harry moans Louis’s name through his orgasm that spreads over both of their tummies. “Amazing” is all that Harry can whimper against Louis’s neck._

_They lay in bed, wet and sticky, hand in hand._

_“So that was fun.” Harry breaks first._

_“Lots of fun.”_

_“You tired babe?”_

_“Sticky.” Louis smiles. “And maybe a little tired.”_

_“You have a few hours to rest before we have nowhere to be.” Harry says cheekily._

_“Right, I forgot about that nowhere to be part.” Louis rubs his fingers over Harry's wrist._

_“Hey, you got to act surprise. Niall will kill me if he finds out you figured it out.”_

_“Babe I got this!” Louis kisses Harry’s lips. “Shit. I forgot to tell you. I got a call yesterday from Williams asking me if I was interested in teaching their public speaking course to seniors. It’s not English Lit but its job.”_

_“Louis that’s great.” Harry squeezes Louis’s hand.” “One less worry than now that you’ve got a job lined up.”_

_“A stress free summer.”_

_“What are your plans this summer, Mr. Tomlinson?”_

_“Well I want to go on a few vacations with my really beautiful boyfriend. A few family visits. And I plan on lots of fucking. Fucking you or you fucking me. Whichever. All of it.”_

_“You’re pretty sure of yourself!”_

_“I’m so fucking happy Harry.” Louis turns his whole body to Harry now. “Like the happiest I’ve been in a very long time. Maybe ever.”_

_“Me too, Louis.” Looking deep into Louis’s eyes. “It may have been unconventional but we finally got it right!”_

_“I would have waited a thousand years if it meant we would finally work it all out.”_

_“I’m so happy you’re home.”_

_Home. Home with Harry._


End file.
